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Billi-Jean

Billi-Jean's bumpy ride...

Well, I usually cringe at the idea of keeping a journal -always kinda reminds me of those old school assignments in English class that I used to put off, you know, the ones like, "What I did on my holidays...". Shock Guaranteed to make my mind go completely BLANK!

But I've had such fun and learned so much reading others' journeys here, that I need to Whip myself into shape so I can stay focused and motivated.

It's probably a good time to start too, as I just royally ruined my 23 day zero-carb stint! Oops Oops DRAT!! Roll Eyes

So, tomorrow will be a fresh start. Yup

*groan* I'll probably have to go through 'induction flu' (or whatever we're calling keto-adaption these days) all over again, but, well, at least this time I'll have somewhere I can come and, er, moan Devil

Okay, so my basic goals:

Well, I guess I just want to heal my body after 15 years of near starvation just to be able stay in my 'normal' weight range.

I think my immune system's been terribly compromised as the joints in my hands and shoulders started hurting last year, along with some weird eczema type thing on one hand that came up about a year ago and periodically flares up.
My metabolism's been shot too -used to gain weight eating 1000 cals per day on 'normal' SAD foods!! That's why I've been so damn ravenous for 15 years, after losing about 77 lbs. Pretty much had to keep cals to 800 or so just to 'maintain' Shock

Anyway, most of you know this all already, but, hey, at the risk of boring you all into a coma, I just wanted to jot it down 'for the record' so to speak LOL

So, for everyone who isn't Snooze by now, thanks for listening...oh, and hold onto my hand, it's a gonna be a bumpy ride! Grin ...and I don't want to go flying off every time we hit a pot hole!!
Dave

BJ,

What I admire is your courage to change course after so many years of starvation.

To say:- This is maddness, there is surely another way!

I remember my Weight Watchers starvation....My health failing. Much of my massive obesity was a result of that damage, and then the relapse into 'eat anything' mode.

I know a lot of people that have been starving themselves, and some hyper-exercising. I see their skin, moods and everything being compromised.

Society needs to change.
Billi-Jean

Dave, you're a sweetheart, thank you! Big Hug That's just the kind of pep talk I needed to hear right now. Thank you for reminding me to give myself some credit!! Sunny Sunny
Red

I'm glad you started a journal! It is a task, for sure, but it keeps you accountable! And as for the cheat... pffft. I've been there! I remember it like it was yesterday. Maybe that's because it practically was. LOL
Billi-Jean

Red wrote:
And as for the cheat... pffft. I've been there! I remember it like it was yesterday. Maybe that's because it practically was. LOL


LOL LOL Thanks, Red, it feels good to be able to giggle about it a little at least! Grin
Dean

Billi-Jean!

So glad you started a journal. Cool

If you wanna read about falling off the wagon... go read mine! Roll Eyes

You will find what works for you. You may need to experiment. But, don't give up. You're worth it! Yup

Sunny
Billi-Jean

Hi Dean, funny you should mention your journal...that's exactly what I was doing when your post came through! LOL

I'm up to page 6 and thoroughly enjoying it! Yup Lot's of mischief goin' on I'm glad to see Devil

Today is a BIG struggle...cravings are coming thick and fast Sad *sigh* but then, I knew this would happen.

But, no, I'm definitely not going to give up! I'm so glad I have you guys to help me through Comfort
Billi-Jean

Well, I almost made it through 'yesterday'...it's actually still 'today' for me since I haven't been to bed yet! Shock Too much work to finish. Serves me right for dallying around reading Dean's journal today! Grin But it really did help me avoid a major disaster -thanks Dean!! Heart Sunny

So, I woke up today feeling rotten (surprise, surprise Roll Eyes ), and to top it all off I had an ulcer on my tongue, terrible brain fog and I'd gained 4 lbs to boot! Wow Bloody Hell! All this after only one evening amiss Mad

So I should have used my brain and eaten some meat and fat asap...but, well, I couldn't find my damn brain in all that fog...so instead, I found myself switching straight back into my 'old' mode of eating nothing and just drinking cup after cup of black coffee. I've done this for as long as I can remember now, every time I start to gain a bit of weight I starve myself for a couple of days until the weight has gone. Terrible, destructive, deadly behaviour! Arrrrggghhh!!!

*sigh* Old habits die hard.

Then, once into this mindset, I couldn't seem to switch it off, so I just drank coffee and nibbled on celery. Carb cravings were unbelievable!! Bonkers

Finally this evening I got so hungry, but I was still in "self-denial" mode so I just couldn't bring myself to cook the beautiful fatty lamb loin chops that were sitting in my fridge! How insane is that!? Shock I was longing for them, but instead I ate 2 apples, 2 carrots and 3 crackers! ALL of which just tasted, well, tasteless!!

Boy, I can see that 15 years of training will not be so easily overcome. I know the physiology, I know that eating meat and fat is what I need, and yet I do the exact opposite.

Anyway, thank god that the previous 3 weeks had at least made me truly fall in love with fatty, juicy meat Heart Yup Heart because FINALLY something clicked in my head, and, just as the carb cravings were becoming unbearable, I thought, "What the HELL am I depriving myself for!? The cravings won't go away unless I eat fat!!"

So, at 2am, with still a few hours work to do, I just polished off 4 of the most delicious lamb loin chops a girl could ever long for!! Grin Grin Caveman Bob woulda been proud to see me lustily gnawing at them bones too!! Devil Grin

And after a torturous day I now feel so damn relaxed and satisfied, I think I'm grinning like a satisfied cat Grin

So hey, maybe I'm learning something after all, right?
Dean

I know just what you are going through, Billi-Jean. I think what it may be, is you're wanting to go back to your old behavior (your old coping mechanism) and find that comfort zone. With me, that is sugar foods like donuts and cookies. If you partake in some animal fat instead, then you won't need to go down that old path. But, then you won't be able to take the "easy way out". It's a vicious cycle that's hard to break. I went through living hell for a whole year to break free of smoking. I used smoking as such a huge psychological crutch! It wasn't the physical addiction that was hard to break... it was the mental! So, I know this... yet I will resort, from time to time, back to the sugar binging, just to "take a holiday" or whatever. I think once I don't see that behavior as "taking a holiday" anymore... that is when I will be able to just ignore those cravings.

We are creatures of habit, and to develop the right kinds of habits, and get over the wrong ones, takes persistence. And, in the end, you can look back and say "although I cheated some over the last several years, it was much better than had I just done whatever for those years... mindless eating, in other words." Think of all the unhealthy overweight (or underweight) people who have given up and taken that road of mindless eating. There are plenty of them around. We don't wanna be like that, now do we? So, no matter what... just keep trying. In the end you will be much better off for doing so. It's not about being perfect... it's about eating the best you can for as many days as you can... much better than to never eat healthy at all (which is what will happen if you give up). So... really... what choice do we have?
Peter

Billi-Jean,

In the bad old days, I could subsist for days eating nothing but TacoBell. Now, if I skip an early morning meal, or if fat intake isn't near 80%, when driving past my old haunt, I can taste nachos and chalupas and burritos and tacos... Fortunately, it's a real pain to get into and out of their parking lot, so I've been able to cruise on by. It also helps to imagine the cashier as the grim reaper, sickle in hand, wearing a brightly colored serape and a sombrero. Grin You can imagine what I've done to poor, old Ronald McDonald. Shock

While it's still fresh in your mind, and you are IN your right mind (not being tempted), you may want to write down a description, in the most wretched terms you can imagine, just how you felt - emotionally and physically - in the midst of the struggle before eating, while eating, after eating, and the day after you ate NON-meat / your old WOE. Print a copy, put it in your wallet, and when the temptation comes to batter you again, haul it out for review.

Mind you, this is a deterrent not a preventive measure, and overcoming habits takes time. So, even with this, it's likely you'll stumble again; when you do, add to your list another horrid description, as above. It then becomes a stronger deterrent for the next temptation.

And then there's us'ns here to help you up, brush you off, and encourage you along. Simple - yes, easy - no, but, I know you'll make it. Yup
Jaime

I'm not fond of making a journal either but I am glad that you did so I can come into yours and offer support to you and say hello.

Sorry this isn't a longer post but I am getting kind of tired now but I just wanted to say not to feel guilty about falling off the wagon. We *all* do it.
Just dust yourself off and get right back on that horse. Happy
Billi-Jean

Thank you guys for your all your Heart and support!! Thanx

It really means so much to me... *gulp*...kinda brings a tear to the eye I'm embarrassed to say... must be still feeling a little emotional from the last couple of days ordeal! LOL LOL

All your words of wisdom and advice ring so true and I will carry them with me Yup Sunny Heart
jeff

Billi-Jean wrote:
Thank you guys for your all your Heart and support!! Thanx

It really means so much to me... *gulp*...kinda brings a tear to the eye I'm embarrassed to say... must be still feeling a little emotional from the last couple of days ordeal! LOL LOL

All your words of wisdom and advice ring so true and I will carry them with me Yup Sunny Heart


There is alot of experience here. Lots of wisdom. Collectively, we've been through it all. I think stumbling and f*cking up is part of the learning process. We learn more from our mistakes than we do from doing something right.
Billi-Jean

Today was a success!! Sunny

Last night after I had the lamb chops at 2am I was still up working until 6am and found myself hungry again. So I ate about 14 oz of fish Shock and then went to bed. I expected to wake up feeling pretty bad from having eaten so much just before bed, but instead I felt surprisingly okay!

I didn't get hungry until 7pm...and it wasn't even 'hunger' really, it was just that I somehow 'knew' I was ready to, and needed to, eat. So it was 13 hours between meals -but it felt fine since I wasn't denying myself or anything, I just hadn't been ready to eat until then.

I ate about 11 oz of forequarter lamb chops cooked in lard (don't know what you guys call forequarter chops -I can't figure out all the different names used for cuts of meat in different countries Dunno ), and about 4 oz of beef ribs in butter.

Calorie wise, the best I can estimate is anywhere from 1800 to 2000 calories Shock and again I had it all at one meal! LOL

It's so hard, actually, to really get an accurate idea as to calories, since these nutritional calculators seem to 'trim' a lot of fat from the meats and I also eat the pan juices too.

So, it's now been about 8 hours since I've eaten and there's still no hunger or anything...I still feel quite full in fact (though part of that may be still a bit of bloating from the other day).

Anyway I'm not going to worry about it. If my body wants to eat big meals less often right now, that's fine. Maybe it'll settle down once I'm in ketosis for a few days. Don't care coz I'm just glad to be back on track again Ecstatic

jeff...I'm learning! Yup
jeff

Quote:
It's so hard, actually, to really get an accurate idea as to calories, since these nutritional calculators seem to 'trim' a lot of fat from the meats and I also eat the pan juices too.


Well of course. Who would want to eat all that nasty fat? LOL
Dave

And I bet you are feeling a lot better, than when you starve on a low cal diet!
Billi-Jean

jeff wrote:
Quote:
It's so hard, actually, to really get an accurate idea as to calories, since these nutritional calculators seem to 'trim' a lot of fat from the meats and I also eat the pan juices too.


Well of course. Who would want to eat all that nasty fat? LOL


LOL!! LOL LOL LOL
Billi-Jean

Dave wrote:
And I bet you are feeling a lot better, than when you starve on a low cal diet!


Yup Yup absolutely, Dave! Feel like I just got a "get out of jail free card" ...admittedly though, my brain can't quite accept it yet! I'm still a little nervous that there's been some kind of mix up, so and I'm running for the gate before it slams shut!! LOL Well, my damn brain has been screwing with my mind for years, so no doubt I'll be fighting these little mental devils for a while yet . Roll Eyes I guess it still just seems too good to be true!
Dean

Billi-Jean,

What you describe is EXACTLY what IF is all about. And, it is also the way our ancestors ate (paleo). They would gorge on a kill, and then would go days without sometimes. That is how carnivores do it... like the big cats. It is perfectly natural... and is VERY healthy, in fact. That is what I am doing, and it feels wonderful... cuz I am giving my body time to "rest". The amino acids are being used for other things than digestive enzymes... and, the cells have time to do the house cleaning they need to do. I will go as long as I can without eating, and then eat quite a bit. As long as you are eating animal flesh and fat and organs, you have nothing to worry about. You don't need to worry at all about calories. You will get to your ideal weight and health and stay there. If you wanna build your body (sculpt it), then do exercise as well (including resistance). This too should be done in a random way... so your body will not adapt.

Check out these links:

http://www.proteinpower.com/drmike/?p=278

http://www.proteinpower.com/drmike/?p=279

http://www.arthurdevany.com/webstuff/images/RevisedEssay.pdf

Think of how paleo people lived. They walked long distances to hunt game. They worked to figure out how to kill the game. They then carried the meat back and then gorged on it. They then laid around like lions after a kill. Then, they went back to do the same. That's resistance training, walking, HIIT, IFing, and doing it randomly, in our modern times. Your paleo genes will thank you for it! Yup

I feel so good on IFing. It is sorta like the "Warrior Diet", if you've ever heard of that. I am convinced that, along with eating carnivorously, it is the best thing to do for our bodies. I am actually working on a way to get in random workouts, too. Watch for it in my upcoming Exercise Log that I am going to start. Wink

Trust your body to tell you what it needs. From reading your posts, it is obvious that you are a very quick learner, Billi-Jean! Cool
Dave

But personally - not for me - yet.

I suppose if I was as thin as you guys, I could do it better.
Billi-Jean

Dean, this is awesome info! Thanks for the wonderful links. Kiss

...please send me any more you may still have up your sleeve! LOL
It's fascinating stuff that makes a lot of sense to me.

Interestingly, it's now 6pm and I'm just now starting to think about eating...that means it's been 22 hours since I last ate. Wow Wow It's great to think that I not only feel fine about it, but that it might actually be a GOOD thing.

I love the idea that it's perfectly natural to sometimes eat a few times a day while other times eating only once a day or whatever, and that our bodies can actually be trusted to send us the right cues! Assuming we're not eating processed crap and carbs, of course Cool

I'd love to get a better handle on the exercise thing too, and how to get a feel for 'random workouts'. I'm a bit lost when it comes to all that Shock
I want to start exercising again but all that equipment at my gym just boggles my mind in terms of which machines I should use, how many reps and how often, how heavy the weights should be etc. Bonkers
So I definitely await with keen interest your upcoming Exercise Log! Yup ...and any advice on how I can get started back at the gym would be greatly appreciated...

Once again Kiss for this wonderful post!
Billi-Jean

Dave wrote:
But personally - not for me - yet.

I suppose if I was as thin as you guys, I could do it better.


Dave, I'm still so new at all this so I can't even begin to 'know' what's going on...I guess all we can do, as best we can, is try to continue to separate all the mental, cultural, 'conditioned' cues to eat that we are constantly bombarded with, and, eventually, our bodies may respond and we can 'trust' our instincts again?? Dunno
I wish I had an answer...but, regardless, I just can't see how you could be "doing it better" so to speak! Shock Man, your journey is one of the ones I've learned so much from and that keep me motivated! Comfort
Billi-Jean

Finally ate at around 7pm, after 23 hours of nada! LOL

So, I had 4 large forequarter lamb chops, pan-fried in lard with some MasterFoods ' garlic steak seasoning' sprinkled on top...YUM!

Seem to be liking my meat and fat less and less cooked! Always been a fan of somewhat rare meat but I used to prefer fat to be rather well cooked...now I'm finding I'm actually developing a real taste for pale looking, just seared fat!! Grin

Anyway, my lamb chops, cooked, minus the bones, ended up as about 17 oz of meat/fat (including the lard I cooked in and including slurping up all the pan juices LOL )

...according to NutritionData.com (which I prefer to FitDay as I think it's more user friendly), that's about 1800 calories or so, at around 72% Fat, 27% Protein and 1% Carbs.

Am now feeling pleasantly replete...well, let's see how long this little snack keeps me going... LOL
Red

Were you drinking coffee in between meals, or were you water-only? It's weird, sometimes coffee helps to keep me from getting hungry and sometimes it makes me hungrier and gives me low blood sugar symptoms.
Dean

This is what I have fallen into over the last 8 days. I have only eaten in the evening, and quite a bit, but not huge amounts. Like tonight, I had about 7 big chicken hot wings. That's about what I had last night. No eating between those times. It appears I have found my way into the Warrior Diet. Shock I had no intention of doing that, honestly... just following my gut on all this. I am just not hungry, and feel so full of energy all day. At night, I start getting an empty feeling inside, not really hunger. And, then I thoroughly enjoy the animal food I put away. I am never hungry afterwards. Just totally satisfied. Good fricken relationship with food, finally! Cool

Carnivore/Zero Carb and IFing go so hand in hand! You never get hungry when eating zero carb, and you never get headaches from low blood sugar. Your blood sugar is rock steady... fantastic! No fricken mood swings! Smile And, then you eat a big meal, and REALLY enjoy it... and then... you're done... good to go... for another 20 - 30 hours with no food. I HONESTLY can feel my body undergoing MUCH less stress doing this. It's so bizarre. Once again, if you follow the modern nutritionist's advice about eating 5 times a day (with the snacks and all)... pffffft! More BS from the status quo. More crap to IGNORE! Yup

I Heart Heart Heart the way I feel doing this! And, I have been exercising my ass of... no problem! Wink
Peter

Dean wrote:
Once again, if you follow the modern nutritionist's advice about eating 5 times a day (with the snacks and all)... pffffft! More BS from the status quo. More crap to IGNORE! Yup


That's fine for the lowly herbivore, but I don't have time enough to stand around grazing...

I don't have my copy of Warrior Diet anymore. Could you explain why Hoffmeckler encourgaged eating one meal, and that one meal in the evening?
Dean

Peter,

I really have no idea. I have never read the book, or followed the diet. I have seen the website? I think. Confused

It may be that it was just simpler to do this... or, perhaps he thought it was what warriors did in the past. I do know he was NOT LC. At least I think that he was into eating like "anything you want" or something. I guess one can do that with IFing as well. But, I would not advise that to anyone. For me, it goes hand in hand to do this type of thing with zero carb/carnivore foods. That is more like paleo people did things. I don't think they gave a shit about eating. I think they just celebrated a large kill with the whole tribe. I think eating was a social thing that the group partook in. I think the rest of the time, they just did the activities that assured the group's survival. And, they did it without constantly thinking/worrying about food intake. That's how I feel as I go through my day... I am just into doing stuff, and don't worry myself about food. Then, at night I sit down to a nice meaty meal, and truly enjoy it.

Contrast this to modern society, with their drive-thrus on every corner... and commercials pushing this junk between every 5 minutes of television shows, or slapped on billboard after billboard, etc. Just turn all that crap off... and live like your ancestors. Forget all the non-sense nutrition, health care/crisis criminals, commercialism, etc... and LIVE! Cool
Billi-Jean

Red wrote:
Were you drinking coffee in between meals, or were you water-only? It's weird, sometimes coffee helps to keep me from getting hungry and sometimes it makes me hungrier and gives me low blood sugar symptoms.


Red, yeah I drank 3 cups of black coffee...I know exactly what you mean about the effect of coffee, that used to happen to me in the days when I used to live on low cal, so I was never sure what the real 'issue' was, the coffee or the low cal. Confused

I actually have had quite a bit of energy in the last couple of days though -the coffee has been more out of 'habit' than need...you know, from not quite knowing what to do with myself going all day without putting something in my mouth ... LOL

Very odd, but I'm pretty sure it wasn't really the coffee acting as an appetite supressant this time. Like I said I am just so used to the way my brain would not seem to function without coffee in my low cal years, that I still seem to assume I need it...but I'm not sure that that's in fact the case when I'm eating lots of fat and meat...ah well, another reason the April challenge will be good! Grin
Billi-Jean

Dean wrote:
This is what I have fallen into over the last 8 days. I have only eaten in the evening, and quite a bit, but not huge amounts. Like tonight, I had about 7 big chicken hot wings. That's about what I had last night. No eating between those times. It appears I have found my way into the Warrior Diet. Shock I had no intention of doing that, honestly... just following my gut on all this. I am just not hungry, and feel so full of energy all day. At night, I start getting an empty feeling inside, not really hunger. And, then I thoroughly enjoy the animal food I put away. I am never hungry afterwards. Just totally satisfied. Good fricken relationship with food, finally! Cool

Carnivore/Zero Carb and IFing go so hand in hand! You never get hungry when eating zero carb, and you never get headaches from low blood sugar. Your blood sugar is rock steady... fantastic! No fricken mood swings! Smile And, then you eat a big meal, and REALLY enjoy it... and then... you're done... good to go... for another 20 - 30 hours with no food. I HONESTLY can feel my body undergoing MUCH less stress doing this. It's so bizarre. Once again, if you follow the modern nutritionist's advice about eating 5 times a day (with the snacks and all)... pffffft! More BS from the status quo. More crap to IGNORE! Yup

I Heart Heart Heart the way I feel doing this! And, I have been exercising my ass of... no problem! Wink



Dean, I find this very interesting! I think that's what I'm liking about not eating so frequently, that is, the feeling of not being driven to eat and not panicking about not eating if I don't feel like it.

I also like being able to eat as much as I want when I do eat rather than always trying to stop after what my 'conditioning' tells me is a reasonable amount of food.
Because even on zero carb, I was subconsciously as well as consciously trying to be careful to not 'stuff' myself as all the 'warnings' seemed to imply.

I really want to learn to trust in my body to regulate all this, in time, because otherwise I always am going to feel some sort of mental deprivation, and that's really went I start to panic and fall apart.
Dean

I agree with everything you are saying, Billi-Jean.

And.. think about it. In paleo times, could you even begin to imagine people "counting calories" and stressing out on how much they were eating? LOL

Yah... I think that once you eat what your body was designed to eat, everything just starts to click. This is really the first time I have just let go and gone for total carnivorous eating, without worrying about it. I just keep thinking about my ancestors (whose genes I have in me right now) and what they were doing. They were killing animals and eating them. They weren't reading books on the latest nutrition and health concepts. Roll Eyes They didn't panic about food. They didn't obsess on it. That was not a part of their culture. They took steps to assure that there would be food... by just getting into the rituals of their tribes... by following their ancestors ways!

We have been so conditioned to eat so many meals a day, and at certain times, etc. When you eat carnivorously, and then listen to your body, it all starts to fall into place. I have no idea how much or how many times a day, or what times of the days I will be eating. I will just go with the flow on this, and see what happens. I find myself getting more and more divorced from eating for reasons of comfort or other silly notions that surely never entered the minds of our ancestors. We have developed such a bizarre and unnatural relationship with food, it is truly disturbing. It all started with slavery... that was the direct result of agriculture. Cheap, abundant food to feed the slaves. We are still to this day locked in that same slavery dichotomy. We are told what to eat by the "experts"... the food pyramidiots (what a perfect symbol they chose, huh... a pyramid... built by slaves!).

It's time to let go... eat what are bodies need... what they evolved on... and then TRUST our bodies to tell us how much and how often to eat. And, forget about all the rest! It's all just mental distractions... designed to get you back to those shiny food isles at your local market. Bear was right. Just eat... and enjoy. Yup
Billi-Jean

I've been away on business for a few days...very hectic schedule, 18 hour work days -ARG!! Phew, I'm glad that's over.

Meals were all provided for by the company and were either take-away 'catered' lunches and dinners during work hours or business dinners at restaurants Shock

I did the best I could, all things considered, but eating was pretty haphazard nonetheless. I survived it by just eating a small amount of whatever was provided and trying not to worry about it. We had so much work to get through, however, that there wasn't much free time to dwell on food, so that probably helped too.

Anyway, I'm back, and feeling very relieved...I find the profligate food world and all the work/social events that are surrounded by an endless variety and quantity of food all too chaotic these days...it's just too much, and I don't think it's merely a reflection of my own sense of 'missing out' that's speaking here. I find myself actually craving simplicity in food, and so am finding that I don't like being swamped by all the 'clutter' that bombards us everywhere we go in our food-crazy world.

It was just so nice to come back to an apartment that was thankfully free from that plethora of ingredients and food choices.
Billi-Jean

Wow, it's been over 6 months since I went AWOL!! Shock

I’ve really missed being here, and really missed you guys, it’s good to be back!
So sorry to have disappeared like I did, without explanation...as many of you know, I was having terrible work and finance issues and was at the point of utter exhaustion.
Well, I finally just cracked and took off to get away from everything, went to stay with some friends to try to sort myself out, and upon my return of course found myself jobless and in danger of becoming homeless if I didn’t manage to come up with the money to pay my rent. So in a panic I went out and took the first job that came along, in the food industry of all places!! Roll Eyes Needless to say the last 6 months has been a nightmare...I’ve spent all day working with and preparing food and having to constantly taste everything...arggghhh!!...someone else’s idea of bliss perhaps but certainly not this aspiring carnivore’s!! God, Red, I don’t know how you stay sane working in the food industry! You are definitely made of stronger stuff than I!

Anyway, I just quit my job because I know I was reaching crisis point...not sure what I’m going to do for work at this point, but I know that I can’t sort my life out while my eating and my health is in chaos, so I’m just first trying to get back on track, and when I feel a bit better I’ll worry about the rest.

So, it’s day 2 of zero carbs, eating just meat, eggs, fish, fat and a bit of cheese, and I have to say I’m feeling pretty crap. I feel weak and lethargic, have difficulty focusing, have occasional dizzy spells and mild nausea and even moments of blurred vision...guess all these symptoms could be “induction flu” but it’s still scaring me a bit. I guess I just have to hang in there.

Anyhow, I’m so glad to be back with all you guys! Yup
I am very worried about Dean, though. God, I hope he’s okay, he’s going through such a terrible thing and it really kills me that we can’t do anything to help him. Has anyone spoken to him? If anyone is in touch with him can they send him my love and prayers? Heart
jeff

I have not heard from Dean at all. I think I'll try to email him tonight.

Billi-Jean, glad to have you back!!!! You were missed. Sorry to hear of all your struggles. Getting your eating back on track is a good start. Do you plan on being around here on a regular basis again?
Dave

Hi BJ!

I wondered where you had got to!


Welcome back!
jeff

jeff wrote:
I have not heard from Dean at all. I think I'll try to email him tonight.

Billi-Jean, glad to have you back!!!! You were missed. Sorry to hear of all your struggles. Getting your eating back on track is a good start. Do you plan on being around here on a regular basis again?

I did email Dean and have heard back from him already. He says he is doing fine. He is just extremely busy. He'll hopefully drop by sometime soon.
Jessica

HI! Just wanted to stop by... sorry i've been MIA for awhile...

Hugs, Jessica
Billi-Jean

Hey Jessica, Dave, jeff!! Thanks for the welcome home...yep, this little prodigal chick is back and will try not to go wandering off again Yup LOL

...hmm, jeff, new avatar eh? Now that would be a feast worth coming home for Devil

Thanks for letting me know Dean's okay, jeff, I was so worried. It's so unlike him to be silent so long.
jeff

Quote:
...hmm, jeff, new avatar eh? Now that would be a feast worth coming home for Devil


Thanks for noticing the new avatar. Grin And welcome back aboard the Bus. It may be a bumpy ride, but we'll get you to where you're going. Yup
Dean

Wave Billi-Jean!

So good to see you around here.
Billi-Jean

Kiss back at cha Dean!

Hey, I think I'm making progress...

It's been really hard trying to get my eating back on track and for the last week since I've been trying, I've been slipping up more than succeeding it seems!
After so many years of eating so little fat and protein and basically just grazing all day on celery, apples and similar such low calorie fare, I found myself in a horrid quandary on 2 fronts:
a) I struggle to NOT graze constantly, seeming to 'need' to be munching on something (especially crunchy/ crispy stuff) all the time and,
b) I get terribly panicky whenever I have a 'full' stomach, so that every time I have a normal meal it causes great psychological and hence physical distress.

Even when zero-carbing, my body seems sluggish trying to handle protein and fat in any regular quantity, and I feel overly full and uncomfortable after a meal of even, say, just a 300g steak with fat. I've long suspected that this is largely psycho-somatic but it still makes trying to get my eating on track really difficult.

However, I've been persevering, playing around with meal sizes and fat:protein ratios and seem to be slowly getting there!
I've started trying to eat small, frequent meals with a small amount of protein and lots of fat, and things really do seem to be improving physically and psychologically.
For example, I had, for breakfast this morning, 2 eggs lightly fried in 2Tbsp goose fat and I poured ALL that goose fat over the eggs and ate it all with them! This works out at 82% Fat and 15% Protein (according to NutritionData.com), which seems to be, for me at least, easier for my stomach to handle because I just don't think I'm used to dealing with protein at this stage until my body adjusts.
This way too I get to eat reasonably frequently, without feeling 'stuffed', until I can reach the point where my appetite (coz it's NOT hunger driving me) settles down, without having to freak out at the feeling of fullness I get after a normal sized meal.

15 years of semi-starvation, it seems ,will take time and perseverance to amend! I am so sure that so many of my physical and emotional problems are the result of starving my brain and body of fat!! Already I am starting to feel like I can think more clearly, and a deep-seated private depression that I've always manged to hide from most people but which has haunted me for so many years is actually starting to lift. I can't believe it!!

Anyway, it's feeling better eating more fat, in fact, I seem to be starting to crave FAT above anything!! I'm starting to NEED to have each bite of protein absolutely dripping with yummy fat!! Grin Lean protein just doesn't appeal to me lately.

Oh, and my energy level is really improving too!! Yup

Man, I wish I could buy big chunks of animal fat, it's not fair, the darn butchers just look at me like I'm insane when I tell them I want to buy fat!! I can't seem to get my hands on any.
Boy, I'm turning into Jack Sprat's wifey!! Fat, fat, fat, gimme gimme FAT! LOL
Billi-Jean

ZERO carbs today!!! Ecstatic
(that's disregarding the negligible amount in eggs, of course!)

Got up and had:

A Tbsp of coconut oil -just gulped it down...yick, hope the stuff is bloody worth the way I nearly gaged on it!

Then I spooned a large Tbsp of goose fat into a frying pan and fried 2 eggs (just barely, so the yolks were still completely runny). On top of those I poured about another Tbsp of butter (just melted in the residual heat of the pan after frying the eggs so it didn't burn)...mashed it all into the eggs and yummo!! Didn't even have any salt!! I'm starting to lose my desire to salt everything! Happy Boy, that's saying something considering how much I used to love the stuff!!

About 2 hours later I had a can of sardines (also warmed in a Tbsp of goose fat)

Maybe 3 hours after that I ate the skin from about half a roast chicken (didn't want the meat, just ate all the fat and whatever meat was on the wing)

For dinner I ate 3 rashers of bacon and probably 5-6oz or so of the chicken meat warmed in more goose fat and another 2 eggs mixed in.

...hmm, not hungry (surprise, surprise) but I'm still craving more fat!!! Shock What am I turning into??

Today I seemed to have more mental clarity than I've had in years! My energy has been way up too, to the point where I was restless earlier and couldn't sit still for too long...I've been inactive for so long, but today, for the first time in eons it seems, I felt this overwhelming need to be outdoors, walking, running in the sun. I decided to go for a walk and found myself jogging!! Wow Good Lord!! LOL
Too bad I only made it up one wee little hill before I had to resort to a somewhat more humble brisk walk Roll Eyes ...the spirit was up for it it seems but the body ain't quite yet!
Jaime

That sounds just like the way I want to eat. I'm going to have to look into this coconut oil more closely.
Billi-Jean

Jaime, I've read a lot of good things about coconut oil (there's heaps of posts on it too in all the low-carb forums). All those medium-chain fatty acids sound pretty great to me Yup so I'm going to stick with it unless I get convinced it's not beneficial...my only problem with it is that I don't like the taste of the oil, and coz I don't use any types of sweeteners I can't make it into yummy smoothies or the like... Sad

oh, hey, your grandson is back as your avatar! Did I just imagine the pumpkin or what?? Bonkers
Dean

Cheer Great going, Billi-Jean! Cheer

Your body is probably craving animal fat so much, cuz of all the nutrients it contains. Plus, the anti-inflammatory properties. The sugar causes inflammation. That's why after eating sugar for days, I end up craving fatty meat. Doesn't surprise me at all.

Keep up the good work.

I'm gettin' there, slowly. But, you are inspiring me a lot! Yup

Sunny Cool Sunny
Alex

Hi Billie-Jean,


Looks like you are on the right track again. Don't worry about speed, this is more about the direction than anything else.

Like Dean said before: It's not about being perfect... it's about eating the best you can for as many days as you can...

So don't worry about IF, you'll get to that when you're ready. And if you don't, hey Jeff is not either and look at his results!

You are doing great, give your body time to heal.


Thumbs Up Alex
Billi-Jean

Thanks Dean! Sunny That's so nice to hear, never considered I could be an inspiration to anyone! LOL

Boy oh boy, I can really feel changes staring to happen. I used to feel like I was in a brain fog all day...for so long I've been lethargic and dreaded every day, wondering where I would find the energy to drag myself through the day...

You're so right, I think my body and mind (hehe especially the mind Bonkers ) has been so deprived of fat for over 15 years that it's now just soaking it all up and screaming for more LOL ...my physiology lecturers can gasp and groan all they like, it sounds scientifically valid enough for me!! Grin

So far today I've had my Tbsp of coconut oil then 3 eggs with 2 Tbsp goose fat and 2 Tbsp of butter

...and I'm feelin' GOOOOOOD!! Happy I'm feeling like a little kid and I keep finding myself doing silly little dances in the living room and singing ridiculous songs like snippets from Madonna's old ditty "Dance and Sing Get Up and Do Your Thing" Shock

I think the Sugar is POISON message has finally really registered deep in my consciousness. I don't find myself fighting it as truth anymore, I feel like part of me has accepted that it needs to stay out of my system like any other poison and I'm starting to be content with that fact.
I'm not craving sugar at all Wow but it's merely the physical habit of a lifetime of munching mindlessly on juicy, crispy vegetables and fruit that I'm still finding really really hard to shake off, not for the sugar hit but for the actual physical munch and crunch process! Sad Bloody hell, I'm addicted to the physical act of eating!! Gah!! Shock ...luckily all this divine fat I'm gobbling is helping me fell mentally positive and strong enough to believe I can beat this addiction too!! Yup
Billi-Jean

Quote:
Looks like you are on the right track again. Don't worry about speed, this is more about the direction than anything else.

Like Dean said before: It's not about being perfect... it's about eating the best you can for as many days as you can...

So don't worry about IF, you'll get to that when you're ready. And if you don't, hey Jeff is not either and look at his results!

You are doing great, give your body time to heal.


Thanks Alex! Comfort Yes, words of wisdom I will definitely fight to hold on to!! You are so right!! Yup
Dave

Awesome BJ!

Hey maybe we can Aussie-ify these board up!!!! Happy
Jaime

Billi-Jean wrote:
Jaime, I've read a lot of good things about coconut oil (there's heaps of posts on it too in all the low-carb forums). All those medium-chain fatty acids sound pretty great to me Yup so I'm going to stick with it unless I get convinced it's not beneficial...my only problem with it is that I don't like the taste of the oil, and coz I don't use any types of sweeteners I can't make it into yummy smoothies or the like... Sad

oh, hey, your grandson is back as your avatar! Did I just imagine the pumpkin or what?? Bonkers


I'll get some coconut oil on Wednesday when I get paid.

You did not imagine the pumpkin. It was in there but only for a short time. I actually have a new photo of Travis (my grandson...not the pumpkin LOL ) on the way but I need to edit it a little first.
Billi-Jean

Quote:
I actually have a new photo of Travis (my grandson...not the pumpkin )


LOL LOL

Travis is soooo cute!! Yup


Quote:
Awesome BJ!

Hey maybe we can Aussie-ify these board up!!!!


Thanks Dave! Sunny

...yeah, we need to spread the word and get more Aussies on da bus!! LOL


I'm still doing well!! Third day without carbs and my digestion seems to be settling down Yup
When I eat it's now starting to actually feel good in my stomach, and I've had no nasty issues with the loo (ah, that's the 'toilet' for all our fellow non-Aussie bus crew LOL ) in spite of all the fat I've been consuming!

My hunger, or more aptly, the 'habit' that made me want to constantly eat seems to be losing its hold so I'm not missing the sensation of munching all day long on vegies as much, something that I'm very relieved by because it's been possibly the hardest thing to deal with!

Today I got up and had breakfast at around 11am. I had:

1 Tbsp coconut oil then made a yummy omelette, only lightly cooked so it was still all soft and gooey inside. Boy it was delicious! Here's what I did in case anyone's interested...

I had some fat drippings from the chicken I roasted the other day so I heated about 2 Tbsp chicken fat in the pan, added about 4 anchovy fillets then poured in 3 whisked eggs. On top I sprinkled about 1oz or so of crumbled feta, which warmed through as the eggs semi-set and the omelette was rolled up.
I enjoyed it so much, but the best news is that it's kept me going for about 7 hours so far and I haven't been plagued by cravings! Ecstatic
Billi-Jean

Day 4 of no carbs and I feel GRAND!!!! Grin Grin

This is such a different experience to the way I felt when I went carnivore at the start of the year!! I felt crap for weeks -in fact I never really got past feeling crap!! And the carb cravings were overpowering Shock

What I've done differently this time round doesn't seem that drastic on the surface but it seems to have made a world of difference to how I feel and seems to have made cravings all but disappear!

All I've done is simply removed the added salt, removed all spices and herbs, condiments, and bits of veg like garlic etc that I was eating copiously last time.
The only carbs I get is from the eggs I eat. I've had a little bit of cheese too, but again I don't count the carbs in cheese if I only have an ounce or so.
The other thing I've done is try to keep my fat intake really high while keeping protein at more reasonable amounts. So say, where last time I might have eaten 3-4 lamb chops or 3 chicken thighs at the one sitting, this time I might only have one but pour extra fat and butter on it (say, 2-3 Tbsp) and soak it all up with the meat. Then I'll wait a couple of hours before having more protein, if I still want it, just to make sure my digestion isn't strained.
It sure is making an incredible difference!! Sunny
Dean

Billi-Jean,
That's great you are figuring out what works for you! Sunny

If we just keep coming back to figure out a WOE we can do long term, we will win this thing hands down. Yup

For me, I'm glad I found out that dairy was not messing with me as I thought it might be. Only time will tell, though. All I know is the indulgences I've had with the white flour donuts and cookies, and all the ice cream... that is what is big time trouble for me. I am looking forward to getting as far away from that as possible.

I remember the April Challenge, where I went 15 days (half a month) eating nothing but plain, unseasoned beef and pork (with lots of fat). That was so hard to do. When I started adding seasoning back in, I was in heaven. I don't know how people who eat nothing but raw meat do it. They either have wills of steel, or they have lost their taste buds! LOL
Billi-Jean

Quote:
I don't know how people who eat nothing but raw meat do it. They either have wills of steel, or they have lost their taste buds!


LOL gee, there's a market the Drug Companies might want to exploit -ie. come up with some drug that destroys taste and smell receptors -the ultimate diet pill!! Grin
...guess actually though that these raw-meat-only eaters have tastebuds that have just adapted to the absence of seasonings and lost their desire for them.

I know for me, after a few days of not using seasonings, I'm starting to actually taste meat and fat in a whole new way.
I'm detecting so many more levels of flavour in fat and meat that I never knew where there...there are sweet tones, salty tones and different types of these with varying depths and distinct individual characters. The mineral characters of the different fats and proteins come through and linger in a different way. And, I never thought I'd say it, but I like it!! I seem to have lost my desire to "adulterate' my food with anything!! I can truly taste what I'm eating and it's becoming delicious! I've had to switch to un-salted butter because the salted kind has begun to taste revolting!

For me, it's been so eye-opening to experience all this. For the first time in my life I am beginning to experience the feedback signals that tell the body it's eaten enough. I swear I have never had this before -my 'hunger' was never satisfied by eating (no doubt as a result of sugar imbalances from a very early age).
Adding seasonings seems to instantly override or overwhelm my ability to receive or identify the mental cues our brains are suppose to give us to stop eating and which are meant also to make us feel satisfied. Thus I just never felt satisfied - oh I could force myself to stop eating (and did so most of the time for so many horrible years), but the drive to eat never left. You can never ultimately win a battle like that.

I am actually relieved and very glad that seasonings don't have this effect on you, Dean. Yup
It's so damn terrifying to find yourself unable stop eating, even when it's just fat and meat, still never getting a feeling/signal of satiety, wondering what the hell is so wrong with you and feeling like a freak of nature.
At the start of the year, when I was eating all that salt and all those spices and condiments, I still always felt deep down like I was caught/ trapped in a doomed battle of wills. After a few weeks of enforcing my self-control, things just got ever harder (don't get me wrong, I could feel full, but just never truly satisfied on an emotional and physical level, so eventually I was bound to break). Cravings got stronger instead of starting to fade. In desperation I kept trying but it was a losing battle.

People say it's very hard to binge on protein and fat. I had no concept of what they meant by that. I could eat 6-8 lamb chops (good sized ones too!), then an entire roast chicken, be bloated and wanting to die but still 'hungry' and unsatisfied. There is so much shame and self-disgust when that is your reality. I guess that's why this time, I'm just so ecstatic about how wonderful my experience is that I can't stop delighting in it!! You all must please forgive me for carrying on!! Blush LOL

My God, I now have a meal and I'm absolutely glowing with peace, satisfaction and contentment. The relief at finding that I'm not some kind of freak who just can't stop eating, is so incredible.
It's only taken my body a few days to adjust to digesting fat and protein this time, and now I don't have to even really pay attention to my meal sizes or frequency. My body seems to be handling that for me.

Much as I pray that no one else has these issues with something as seemingly benign as salt and spices, I'd really recommend, if anyone finds themselves still plagued by cravings that just get worse rather than better even on really low-carb, or has difficulty stopping eating, finding themselves binging on huge amounts of protein and fat like I used to and still never feel that glowing, peaceful satisfaction and satiety (both psychologically and physically), that we are supposed to feel after eating, then this may be worth considering.
I don't know what made me or why I just decided to try cutting out all seasonings (there's still some added salt, I know, in things like cheese, but I'm careful to only have small amounts at a time so that it doesn't register too strongly on my tastebuds). I'm so glad I did though, because otherwise I would probably have had to give up 'carnivory' after a few weeks of futile battle, again.
Eating is meant to satisfy every level of your being. If you never get that content feeling of completeness, it's just too hard to maintain any way of eating for too long.

Oh man, this is only day 5 and I feel SO DAMN GOOD!!
I'm actually starting to feel glad to be alive. I'd don't think I ever actually felt truly 'glad' to be alive before!!
So many of us have had a lifetime of havoc reaped on our emotions and our quality of life from the deadly effects of sugar. I am more and more convinced that its detrimental effects are not at all just limited to our physical bodies, but rather also permeate our psyche and emotions -because they are inextricably linked.
I mean, I just can't help but feel that it's our very happiness, not just our 'health' or weight loss/control issues, that's at stake here. When we are really overweight (and I know because I used to be extremely overweight), you can't help but think "If I lose weight, I'll be happy". But it just doesn't work that way if your body's homeostasis is askew. For me at least, it seems my very happiness depends upon staying the hell away from all carbs and even food additives!
Fifteen years of being at my perfect weight after losing about 40kg (about 88lb) never brought me any true happiness. Whereas a mere 5 days of fuelling my body with what it truly needs has bestowed me with feelings of happiness that I thought I was destined to never experience.
Alex

Hi Billi-Jean,


And you think you can't be an inspiration... this post says it all!! Yup

Cheer you go girl, enjoy it Grin
Dean

Billi-Jean,

I'm so happy for you! Happy

And, thanks a million for sharing your story. It is very inspirational! Yup

I tend to think that animal food is such a natural food for humans, after the millions of years of eating nothing else. When I went those 15 days in April with nothing but plain beef and pork, making sure to eat plenty of fat, I used all the food. No elimination. That was odd, but very revealing.

When I started daily IFing, I felt wonderful during the fasting part of the day. I think it is also very natural for us to not eat so often. I think that is probably how it was for those millions of years. Giving our immune system a break from the constant assault on our GI tract probably helps us more than we can imagine. But as you point out, we need to feel satisfied in order to do this.

Even if I use spices and sauces and such, I still lose my appetite eating carnivorously. But, as you have shown, that is not true for everyone. I am so glad you pointed that out. Perhaps others can try your method to see if it helps them. You're so correct in pointing out that we do need to experiment and find out what works for us, to be able to truly be satisfied with our eating, so we can develop a life long WOE that really is healthy.

So glad you are finding out what that is for you. Thanks again, Billi-Jean, for being such an inspiration!

Sunny
Billi-Jean

Aw, you guys ROCK!! Grin I love you guys!! Heart

Dean, you're so right, we all just have to keep adjusting/ experimenting with this WOE til we find out what truly works for us.
Some of what I wrote was hard for me to reveal because it's embarrassing and humiliating for me tell people that stuff. Damn painful, really. But, I figured, we all fight so hard to heal and find a way to properly nurture our bodies/souls, and most of us have been through so much struggle and pain along the way, so if this post could maybe help someone then it's worth the pangs of embarrassment I felt! Yup
Jaime

Billi-Jean wrote:
Aw, you guys ROCK!! Grin I love you guys!! Heart

Dean, you're so right, we all just have to keep adjusting/ experimenting with this WOE til we find out what truly works for us.


We love you too and you're so right about adjusting this WOE until we know what works for us. For me it is still a learning curve.



Billi-Jean wrote:
Some of what I wrote was hard for me to reveal because it's embarrassing and humiliating for me tell people that stuff. Damn painful, really. But, I figured, we all fight so hard to heal and find a way to properly nurture our bodies/souls, and most of us have been through so much struggle and pain along the way, so if this post could maybe help someone then it's worth the pangs of embarrassment I felt! Yup


No need to be embarrased and you did fine. Sunny
Billi-Jean

Heart Thanks Jaime!! Sunny Sunny
jeff

Quote:
Today I seemed to have more mental clarity than I've had in years! My energy has been way up too, to the point where I was restless earlier and couldn't sit still for too long...I've been inactive for so long, but today, for the first time in eons it seems, I felt this overwhelming need to be outdoors, walking, running in the sun. I decided to go for a walk and found myself jogging!! Good Lord!!


You have all this energy because with your lowered insulin levels, your body can finally access that energy. Keep up the great work!
Billi-Jean

Yay, jeff's back!! Sunny Hope you had a great time away jeff!
Thanks for the encouragement, yup, it's actually starting to feel like the fog I've been living in has lifted. I seem to have energy all day long!! Wow
jeff

Billi-Jean wrote:
Yay, jeff's back!! Sunny Hope you had a great time away jeff!
Thanks for the encouragement, yup, it's actually starting to feel like the fog I've been living in has lifted. I seem to have energy all day long!! Wow

Thanks, it's good to be back home. Glad to hear you are doing better.
Jaime

Billi-Jean wrote:
Jaime, what brands can you get that aren't hydrogenated? The only brand I seem to have found in stores here in Australia is 'Allowrie' and the blighters don't include trans fats in the nutritional info, only the total fat and the saturated fat amounts! Mad
I'd love to find a brand that I could be sure wasn't hydrogenated!


I don't know if you can get this brand in Austrailia but it is called Tenderflake. It is made by Maple Leaf. I think it is strictly a Canadian brand.

http://www.mapleleaf.com/Consumer...Brands/OpenBrand_Tenderflake.aspx
Billi-Jean

Darn, I was afraid that would be the case, can't get that brand here... Mad

Damn, I miss living in Canada!! Cry (...now Dave, before you tell me off Wink I of course do love Australia, but it frustrates me how those apathetic souls ensconced in the upper echelons of the Powers-that-Be, refuse to take the trans-fat and low-carb issues seriously. As usual it seems like they're doing their typical "...Oh let's just watch and see how it all pans out in the US and Canada for the next 20 years, and then maybe we'll consider if could be a good idea to make some changes..." Bah, idiots!! Roll Eyes
Billi-Jean

Man, I can't believe I haven't gained any weight! I'm eating so many of my calories as fat!! I guess it's just that part of me that is still so much a product of the "Fat makes you Fat" mentality that I was born into! It's so hard to truly shake the beliefs that were developed in the formative years of childhood.
When I think about how easily I could gain weight on even 1000 calories of carb foods and how therefore I forced myself to starve for nearly half my life...ggrrrrrrrrrr....better not think about it actually, makes me want to turn vigilante and go find a scapegoat to throttle!! LOL Though actually, I probably couldn't manage it - I'm so damn mellow these days! People and things just don't seem to irritate me like they used to.
So much for the theory that meat eaters are more aggressive! I'm actually losing my rough edges like being impatient and feeling angry or resentful. I'm even driving much less aggressively than I used to!
jeff

Quote:
Man, I can't believe I haven't gained any weight! I'm eating so many of my calories as fat!! I guess it's just that part of me that is still so much a product of the "Fat makes you Fat" mentality that I was born into!

So true, Billi-Jean. I have learned that with insulin levels kept low, it is damn near impossible to put on fat. Oh, there is one exception that I have found. I do think that if a person is below their "natural" weight, it somehow is possible to put on fat.

A few months ago I got down to 156 by restricting calories quite severely. This put me in single digits for body fat %, which I would consider unnaturally low for me. As soon as I returned to my normal eating, I quickly regained the weight that I had lost. I returned to my previous weight, and that is where I have stayed.

So, it seems it is possible to put on fat with zero carb, but not excess fat.
Alex

Billi-Jean wrote:
I would feel so isolated eating this way in this fat-phobic, fibre-filled world without everyone here to share my experiences with.
Too bad we can't all get together and have a big 'Meat Meet' or something...now that would be one hell of a party!! Toast


Personally I'm glad to be part of this nice bunch of people. Been reading thru the journals and challenges and the other stuff lately and slowly but surely getting back on track Happy . Don't have anybody in real life who is supportive of this WOE, although they all like meat, so no veg*ans here.

We're not even awake at the same time LOL but I like the idea of getting together Yup oneday, so who knows Sunny

In the mean time we can party on the forum Excellent Wine
Billi-Jean

Alex wrote:

We're not even awake at the same time LOL but I like the idea of getting together Yup oneday, so who knows Sunny

In the mean time we can party on the forum Excellent Wine


Toast Wine I'll toast to that, Alex!! Grin
Alex

Billi-Jean wrote:
Thanks again, Dave, Alex, Dean, you all made great points that remind me how complex and sensitive the human body really is. Makes me want to respect mine for a change instead of just looking at food as 'instant gratification'!!
-oops, I ranted! Oops Sorry guys...end of rant!! LOL


That's my motivation also, so you're welcome to rant anytime Grin feeling guilty about abusing isn't going to get us anywhere but I guess we all need reminders from time to time Cool

The secret seems to be that you focus on what you want/need on the longer term rather then at this very moment. No need to use food for any thing else but nourishment (sometimes that's easier said then done), but being aware of it makes all the difference in the world.

You have deprived yourself for so many years and I'm glad to see that you're doing so great Happy Happy When we eat the right food(s) we don't have to control anything, it happens to be self-limiting because you're feeding your body and therefore there are no cravings.You already know this ofcourse, just reminding myself LOL LOL
Dean

Alex wrote:
In the mean time we can party on the forum Excellent Wine

If we're gonna have a party, we need to break out the



Where the hell is Shawn when you need her? LOL
Billi-Jean

jeff wrote:
Quote:
Man, I can't believe I haven't gained any weight! I'm eating so many of my calories as fat!! I guess it's just that part of me that is still so much a product of the "Fat makes you Fat" mentality that I was born into!

So true, Billi-Jean. I have learned that with insulin levels kept low, it is damn near impossible to put on fat. Oh, there is one exception that I have found. I do think that if a person is below their "natural" weight, it somehow is possible to put on fat.

A few months ago I got down to 156 by restricting calories quite severely. This put me in single digits for body fat %, which I would consider unnaturally low for me. As soon as I returned to my normal eating, I quickly regained the weight that I had lost. I returned to my previous weight, and that is where I have stayed.

So, it seems it is possible to put on fat with zero carb, but not excess fat.


That makes a lot of sense, jeff, thank you! Perhaps that's the body's way of making sure that all us carnivores don't fade away! Yup
You know, I've eaten over 3000 calories on several days and at least 2000 on the others for nearly 2 weeks now and I still weigh the same.
I don't exercise at the moment (beyond walking around to shops etc, nothing to work up a sweat, just relaxed walking).
According to the current nutritional guidelines, I should start gaining weight when I consume more that about 1680 calories per day.
Goes to show what Taubes, Eades and others are trying get across when they denounce the simplistic prevailing view that our weight is determined by the "calories in minus calories out" model. As they point out, since total weight (ie amount of fat stored) is actually primarily determined by the hormonal regulation of fat metabolism, our actual weight is the greatest influencing factor on whether we store fat. Once we are at our 'ideal' weight, as long as we don't start screwing with our hormones (ie, like insulin, glucagon and so many others) by feeding ourselves sugar and crap, the calorie thing pretty much ceases to be much of an issue because our appetite and activity levels (influenced, again, by regulatory hormones) will work to keep fat storage, hunger cues and amount of activity we do, all in correct balance.
When we are overweight and these mechanisms are kind of out of whack, is perhaps when it is not so easy to maintain or lose weight. For example, the more fat we have stored, the more insulin our bodies actually produce in response to eating carbs!! The greater the degree of fluctuation away from homeostasis, it seems, the harder it is for the body to adequately compensate and manage to get everything back into balance. But once it is in balance, those homeostatic mechanisms work very well to stay balanced as long as we actually feed our bodies what it really needs for fuel!
Billi-Jean

Dean wrote:
Alex wrote:
In the mean time we can party on the forum Excellent Wine

If we're gonna have a party, we need to break out the...


mmmm...drool....someone say kool-aid??? LOL
Alex

"...We're the team from the Mighty Bus
Sugar SUX, Sugar SUX!
You will win if you stick with us
Sugar SUX, Sugar SUX...!!!"


Thanks a lot BJ, can't get it out of my mind, like those annoying tunes you keep humming al day even without noticing... LOL LOL

Big Hug
Alex

Just wanted to add to my last post: and it was definitely a great help!! Cool

Haven't had any junk today, nothing but animal food for me (except for my coffee and very few condiments, but hey nobody's perfect) and I'm feeling okay so far.
It's your journal, so I hope you don't mind me posting this.

Thanx
jeff

Quote:
Once we are at our 'ideal' weight, as long as we don't start screwing with our hormones (ie, like insulin, glucagon and so many others) by feeding ourselves sugar and crap, the calorie thing pretty much ceases to be much of an issue because our appetite and activity levels (influenced, again, by regulatory hormones) will work to keep fat storage, hunger cues and amount of activity we do, all in correct balance.

Calories for me are pretty much a non-issue. I can maintain a healthy weight on anywhere between 2000-4000 calories per day. (well, I've never tried more than 4000 a day.... maybe there's another experiment waiting down the road for me) LOL
Billi-Jean

Alex wrote:
"...We're the team from the Mighty Bus
Sugar SUX, Sugar SUX!
You will win if you stick with us
Sugar SUX, Sugar SUX...!!!"


Thanks a lot BJ, can't get it out of my mind, like those annoying tunes you keep humming al day even without noticing... LOL LOL

Big Hug



LOL LOL LOL

Neither can I Alex!!! Got this vision in my head of us all at a basketball match cheering on our 'Dream Team Carnivores' and yelling our heads off as we thrash the 'Food Pyramid SAD's' LOL

Alex wrote:
Haven't had any junk today, nothing but animal food for me (except for my coffee and very few condiments, but hey nobody's perfect) and I'm feeling okay so far.
It's your journal, so I hope you don't mind me posting this.


Of course I don't mind, I LOVE that you share in my journal!! Big Hug
Awesome effort today, too! Cheer We are definitely going to beat those cursed carb cravings if we just keep trying!!
Billi-Jean

jeff wrote:

Calories for me are pretty much a non-issue. I can maintain a healthy weight on anywhere between 2000-4000 calories per day. (well, I've never tried more than 4000 a day.... maybe there's another experiment waiting down the road for me) LOL


LOL LOL ...oh jeff, I can see your family standing around watching, their expressions something like this Shock Shock Shock ...as you chomp down sticks off butter and glug down double cream by the carton! LOL
Billi-Jean

Good news! My digestion is definitely improving! Sunny Sunny
Any lingering feelings of distension, heaviness, burping, general discomfort and the sense of food just sitting on my stomach for hours and hours like it's not actually getting digested (as if I wasn't producing the enzymes or something to break it down), have, for the most part, gone! Happy, happy, joy, joy!! Happy

Now I just have to hang in there Roll Eyes I know the coming months will be a challenge because summer is just around the corner and all the luscious summer fruits in their flirtatious attire will be tempting me with their beguiling sweetness and whispered promises of juicy delights!! Bonkers

Wow ...ah, alright now little brain cells, everybody just keep calm and DON"T PANIC!!!
jeff

Quote:
...ah, alright now little brain cells, everybody just keep calm and DON"T PANIC!!!

Just keep feeding those little brain cells a steady diet of ketones and they'll be fine. Wink
Billi-Jean

Seems my weight has done up a bit -I'm now up from 103 to 104 pounds Sunny

Excellent!...maybe I'm building back some muscle?

It would be nice to think that my body is perhaps replenishing what I lost on low-cal.

Another 5 pounds or so of added meat on this little frame would probably be ideal...then, watch out boys!! Devil

I'm glad to say I've recovered from the nasty 'green' drink I had yesterday. Acidic feeling in my gut is gone.
Interesting, about an hour after I got up today I really felt I needed to eat (not hunger per se, I just had a bit of a flat feeling and was a bit low in energy).
So I made 3 eggs and drowned them in butter and chicken fat. Then I still wanted more to eat so I made 2 medium steaks -about 1lb all up I guess, with a decent amount of beef dripping poured over them. Sprinkled some sea salt and down the hatch they went too! Nice and blue inside Yup

I felt immediately better and 2 hours later I was feeling wonderful...5 hours later, now, and I still feel great. So it really looks like I am becoming able to handle larger amounts of food! Happy
jeff

Quote:
felt immediately better and 2 hours later I was feeling wonderful...5 hours later, now, and I still feel great. So it really looks like I am becoming able to handle larger amounts of food!

Yayyyyy!!!!!
Dean

Billi-Jean,

I am feeling better every day eating lots of fatty meat, eggs, cheese. I feel SO MUCH better than when eating carbs. I have joy in my life. It is a serious difference. I'm so glad you are keeping with this WOE. You won't regret it. And, you deserve it! Yup

Sunny
Billi-Jean

Happy ...you know guys, these little words of support and encouragement really put a zing in my day! Thank you both! Kiss
Alex

Billi-Jean wrote:
I've tried low-carb and zero-carb a number of times. Interestingly, on each attempt, it seems depending on the particular state of my health at the time, I had different responses to the transitional phase!! Very frustrating. I didn't know what was going on and each time I gave up. Luckily, I just couldn't ignore what I'd come to believe about carbs, so I would eventually try again, adjusting what I was doing and seeing how I reacted to it. I finally found what seemed to work for me, after what seemed like countless defeats.
Seems to me that you have more determination than I and certainly more of a positive attitude than I!! I don't for a moment doubt that you can and will figure out what makes this WOE consistently sustainable for you! Sunny


Just like you (and the others on the Bus) I can't ignore what I found out about carbs (and IF) and that is my main reason for coming back to this WOE. Don't think I have more determination than you (look at what you have accomplished so far!!) and I sure as hell know about the frustration part Yup . Just can't justify eating the stuff that is so detrimental to our health anymore and that is why I am confident that one day I will get to where I wanna be. Right now it is more like your bumpy ride LOL LOL but with the help and especially the encouragement I get from fellow Bussers Heart Heart it will work out (some days are better than others).

Read your remark about the time of day on Jaimes journal and I'll let you in on a little secret Wink when I started writing in this forum I also couldn't figure out what time it was in the USA or in Australia (and why sometimes I seemed to be the only one around...) so I searched and came up with this: http://www.worldtimezone.com/ . If you click in the left corner it even shows you day/nighttime at one glance Cool .
Billi-Jean

Hey Alex!! Thanks, that's a great help!! I've made a shortcut to it on my desktop so I can check at a glance anytime I get er, confused LOL

And you're right, we've all come a long way on the bus, so every one of us deserves a damn hearty pat on the back!! LOL We're a pretty special bunch aren't we! Grin LOL
Billi-Jean

After only about 3 solid weeks of cutting out the carbs, I'm doggone pleased to report that the difference in my skin and eyes is AMAZING!!
It's hard to describe exactly how they're better...words like 'looking more refreshed' or a kind of a 'glow' come to mind...

I find myself periodically checking the mirror as if to verify that I haven't just imagined it all! LOL

The whites of my eyes are like, well, really white LOL instead of the dull creamy colour they used to be...it almost looks a bit odd -> Shock

LOL
Dave

Sounds great! Happy
Rich

Great to hear!! Sunny Congrats
Billi-Jean

Thanks guys!!! Sunny Sunny
Billi-Jean

Thought for the day:

When I eat lamb, I think,

"Oh man, lamb is my favourite meat in the world...!!"

When I eat beef, I think,

"Oh man, beef is my favourite meat in the world...!!"

When I eat pork, I think...

...well, you get the idea LOL
jeff

Billi-Jean wrote:
Thought for the day:

When I eat lamb, I think,

"Oh man, lamb is my favourite meat in the world...!!"

When I eat beef, I think,

"Oh man, beef is my favourite meat in the world...!!"

When I eat pork, I think...

...well, you get the idea LOL

All meat is good. Happy
Billi-Jean

LOL ...just came across this reply, by M. Eades, to a comment in his blog:

Quote:
Vegetarians want to fool themselves into believing that some soy products and sesame (I think) and a few other plant products provide vitamin B-12, but they are mistaken. It comes from foods of animal origin only. If vegetarians eat eggs and dairy, then they get some. If they’re vegans they don’t unless they supplement. If they’re what I call beady-eyed vegetarians, they do fine. (Beady-eyed vegetarians are those who will eat meat from animals with beady eyes, i.e. fish and chicken, but eschew meat from non-beady eyed sources, i.e. cows and sheep.)


ROTFL

Beady-eyed Vegetarians...what a visual!!

source: http://www.proteinpower.com/drmik...nd-cognitive-impairment/#comments
Alex

ROTFL ROTFL
Heather

Sadly, I find debating vegetarians fun and entertaining. Devil
Billi-Jean

Heather wrote:
Sadly, I find debating vegetarians fun and entertaining. Devil

oooh, I'd love to see you in action doing that!! In fact, I'd probably pay for tickets to get a front row seat!! Grin
Billi-Jean

Up another kilo!! I'm now just over 48 kilos (let's see, that's about 106 pounds)...

I can't believe I'm not panicking!! LOL

And I know I'm not panicking coz I just very happily polished off 3 very fatty lamb chops with extra goose fat poured over them!! Grin

I guess my body 'knows' I need to gain some weight, but the point is that for the first time in my life I'm okay with that!! Yup

I'm monitoring my weight just to see (though I know it doesn't really paint a 'true' picture) how my body is responding.
Interesting thing is that while I do look a bit more solid, if anything, I can actually see or pinch less fat...so I think what might be happening is I'm building back a decent amount of all the protein stores that got catabolised in all my years of semi-starvation, while actually losing some of my fat stores.
So even though I look and feel a bit bigger, I don't look or feel any fatter (if that makes sense Bonkers )
jeff

That's great to hear, Billi-Jean. Awesome!!!
Heather

I do notice the same thing, my body gets quite solid on zero carb. It's weird when the scale says I'm "heavier" but my clothes are VERY much looser. I struggled with trying to understand that for a long time, darn scale again.....
Red

We should make this board a tape measure-only zone.
Billi-Jean

Keep thinking about fruit today... Confused

It's not a 'regular' craving as such, just a bit of a kickback limbic thing, I think, purely coz I haven't had any for about 4 weeks Shock

Not much fun!! Sad

...better go eat some FAT!! Outta Here
Dean

Those types of cravings will keep coming for god only knows how long. I will be fine for a couple months, it seems, then BAM, out of the blue, I get this incredible craving come out of nowhere... for donuts and cookies and ice cream and shit. When we have used certain substances for comfort and those substances have caused physiological changes that we've come to rely on, then this is going to happen. Just how long it will continue is anyone's guess.

That was the hardest thing about quitting smoking, and was the excuse I always used for remaining a smoker, that I didn't wanna have these cravings be a part of my every day life, for the rest of my life. But, once I went long enough (about 1 1/2 years, I'm afraid), then things settled down, and I lost the cravings for nicotine and the whole smoking thing, which I had heavily relied on for many years.

So, will it be the same with carbs? One can only hope. I think there is only one real way to find out. Go long enough without them. Get used to the new physiological reality. The more we become accustomed to this way of living, the easier and more natural it will be. Six and a half years without a single smoke, and it is very hard for me to even imagine that I ever was a smoker.

The modern nutritionists always say there is no such thing as carb addiction. But, there definitely is a physiological difference between a keto-adapted individual, and one who is not. And, I've heard that it takes about two years for your body to fully adjust to being totally metabolically different in terms of efficiently using FFAs and ketones. So, who knows.

Yah, go eat some animal fat. Cool

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