Diane's Flowering

Diane · Diane's Flowering

Ok Here I am starting a journal. I have had way too much to drink this weekend and I am starving. I am down in size again "weird" I can't seem to get enought to eat. My dh just left and we seem to have the most engaging talks when I am Drunk. I will read this after and wonder WHAT THE HECK. I keep wanting to start moving but I have this little problem with my achille tendon. According to my chiro I tore it and now have scar tissue. To top it off I developed bursitis in my shoulder so I can't draw my bow, Deer hunting starts at the end of the month, Aw fu k it. I live to hunt.
Give me a knife I'll leap down from a tree. I need to get some deer into the freezer I'm all out. The NDN next door offered some to dH and I gave him heck for not taking it. I notice the more I have to drink the more I talk and my spelling gets better. That is just weird. By the way my favorite drink is any thing with rum, then wine and beer on hot days. I don't drink too much and I notice it doesn't stop the weight loss. Just don't do too much.

Sorry for the strange ramble but it is a start. Diane 45 yrs old, too large for too many years, too shy for too many years. I am making a change for the better. What the He&& We understand whats going on.
FREEDOM Sunny

Sat 199 lbs Fitting size 12 shorts loose size 14
eating lobster, shrimp, strip loin stks 1" thick and sashimi Hmmm good

jeff

kateryna

Hey Diane, glad to see you here and welcome Welcome

Suzanne

Yes, welcome! Make yourself at home.

Dean

Diane,

So good to see you here on the bus! Yes... we are free here, aren't we? Glad you feel this way. I hope everyone here can feel as you do. Thanks for sharing your trip with us. We all have a lot of craziness to share. It's gonna be fun. It's gonna be liberating. I like to drink rum too. I like the dark rum. How 'bout you? Wish I had some right now, in fact. Wink

Talk to ya later! Sunny

Diane · RRRUUUM

Dean dark caruba rum with that heavenly taste and smell. Used to have shots when I was younger,
now I have it lightly mixed.

I seem to have come down with a flu bug running a fever, headache, chills and aching all over. Stupid me I
actually went to work, managed to stick it out an hour then went home. Bonkers

I just woke up, still running a fever an a little bit of a head ache, but the rest has seems to have left.
50% better hope for 100%.

Everybody have one for me I'm done for now Toast

Diane

Jessica

Awww....

I hope you're feeling better! Drink lots of fluids and get better!

Jessica

Heather

I hope you are feeling better soon. Yup

Dean

Diane,
Hope you are feeling better. There

That's why I got off the booze... didn't care for the hangovers. But, every now and then, it's kinda worth it, I guess. Wink

Diane · Down and out

I am still sick so I am staying home today and sleeping.
Jumped on the scale up 5lbs, Cry

I only had low salt egg drop soup to eat
yesterday and lots of vlc drinks. Body must be hanging
on to water.

Thanks everyone for your positive healing thoughts. My Dh told me last
night to have a beer that it is full of nutrition. I passed, I'm taking tylenol
and I really like my liver.

I'm gone for now so don't worry if I'm not around. G'Day Sunny

I'll be back then watch out! Yup

Diane
I'm turning into a smilie addict

Diane · I'mmm back

Had a rough week everything hit all at once. Achilles tenosis, tom, Flu bug and a slight flair
of asthma from anti-inflamatories.

Weight went up, size went down.

Found a nice Merlot from australia in a can. Nice pours 1.5 wine glasses.
They have a Shiraz that is nice as well.
I got see what others they have. I could have a wine a day with this.

Diane

Dean

Sounds like you will be on the jeff & Bobi diet! LOL

Diane

I haven't been around much it has been a heck of a ride for me starting in Dec 2005 and it seems to finishing up now.
The first death set up the depression, I think do to shock, anger and guilt that I could of done something more. My hunting bud killed himself and his wife. The next 3 were do to cancer, then 2 more from heart, then my surrogate mom retired haven't seen hide or hair of her, then my best buddy he got married and quit work haven't seen hide or hair of him either, we were inseparable. I lost 8 good friends in a very short time and my response to this I started to isolate myself. I had people trying to become my friends and I would refuse to anything with them, I stopped posting on the net, I stopped hunting and having any interest in bow, arrows and such hobbies. I ate meat cause I really didn't have to cook it, If I ate anything at all.
The only thing that help me get over this was my Husband, mind you was the one who told me he didn't love me in January 2005. I moved out in April. He has told me he regrets saying that for he does love me. I just have a hard time believing him. He recognized I going deeper into depression, he got me to take magnesium and 5-htp tryptophan I can't take antidepressants they shut my liver down. He got me to start going to the gym, I actually mention how I used to like weight lifting and he kept encouraging me to join again. I did January 11 2006 and hired a personal trainer, I haven't lost much weight but I have lost size. Working out 3 times a week has seem to lifted a lot of the black cloud. I hardly ever drink as it seems to depress my mood and I want to live again. Death and loss is part of life I just have accept that and go on. Sorry for the book. But I'm on thebus and I don't ever what to go down that other road again.
Pass the kool aid.
Diane

Dean

Thanks for sharing this, Diane. Sounds like you've been through the ringer.

You're not alone. We all have had our share of misery, in one form or the other, and at one time or another. I'm glad you have your husband. My x is my best friend and has been there for me through a lot of very hard times. I cherish our relationship.

I too know what it's like to lose loved ones. I've lost plenty over the last 10 years, including my Mother. I'm happy to see you starting to get out there again. It's easy to get isolated... while ya heal. And, glad to hear you are on the Bus!

Wake Shawn up, will ya... and see if she'll serve us some more Kool Aid! Cool

Diane

All righty then what's up with this "The Bear is Here" E-Mail.
Diane

Dean

Elvis has left the building!

And, Bear has left the bus! Cry

But, he might come back, if we all drink the

Diane

Well I did have orange KOOL AID with lunch last night. Bear hunting does start end of month. It works for me.
Diane

Dean

Great stuff! Cool

jeff

Diane · Commiting myself to a goal!

I got to get myself posting here more. With working nights it seems like an lot of effort.

I also have to get into the gym again. I took last week off. I was a huge aching lump knees, hips and low back.
I'm on my own now for weight lifting, finished up with the personal trainer.
I have my own theory, she had me lifting light with lots of reps and that just bored the **LL out of me.
I rate it up there with endless cardio and end up fatter than when I started.( I tried her way of eating big mistake)

I'm going to try something to get me Burning fat,
I'm going to lift as heavy as I can to point of failure. If it takes me 6 reps to do it fine, I need some muscle on
this frame. Muscle will consume energy
and with the high protein, moderate fat diet they should start to reshape me.

Todays food,
4 eggs fried in bacon grease, 1 tbsp ketchup
1 thick piece sirloin steak with marbling flash fried in lard
Tea and whipping cream
Kool aid and kool aid flavored jello. I luv sucralose.

I know you guys will steer me in the right direction.
May sound funny but I want to do chin ups and pull ups. I have been weak in that department all my life.
That would just be so sweet! I can climb trees but is tough for me.

Diane

Heather

Hi Diane, nice to hear from you!

Diane

Hi Heather
I was going to write in your journal but I don't see one for you.
How Are you doing keeping well?

I have been keep strict with food and have been craving carbs like crazy. It is the same thing every month once Tom hits. I get around it by eating a lot of eggs, the quicker I get that kind of food in me the easier it is to ignore carbs. I have been having PCOS symptoms again and went thru my food to see what I have been eating to trigger it. The only carbs I have been eating were from Wheat and not too much of it. I decided to get myself on saw palmetto and get all carb food out of diet and see if there is an improvement.
It is a little too early only been on the SP for almost 2 weeks. Dh states that there is improvement my Mood is a lot better.

Food I have had
today
6 deviled eggs
6 slices of bacon
thick piece of sirloin steak fried in lard
coffee and whipping cream
orange kool aid and strawberry jello
Weight has started to move downward again.
Diane

Diane

I have been keeping track but you can't edit on this board so I'll have to keep
track once a week in the Wednesday write up or cut and paste.

Diane's Weigh Down Wednesday Back on track!
____________________________________________________________

03/21.... 210.0 lbs
03/28.... 205.2 lbs
04/04.... 206.0 lbs Tom
04/11.... 206.0 lbs still Tom
04/18.... 204.2 lbs
04/25.... 203.4 lbs Sick chest cold, lots of cough syrup, Tylenol.
05/02.... 202.8 lbs Tom I'm in peri (mental pause)
05/09.... 202.6 lbs still Tom but went down .2
05/16.... 202.8 lbs why? hmmm
05/23.... 207.0 lbs Birthday on tues royal pig out
05/30.... 205.6 lbs Tom
06/06.... 202.2 lbs
06/13.... ? Vacation, fishing, sunning etc
06/16.... 203.2 lbs all right didn't blow it came home yesterday (FRI)
06/20.... 201.6 lbs Lowest yet
06/27.... 202.6 lbs Tom
07/04.... 200.2 lbs oh so close!
07/11.... 204.4 lbs
07/18.... I forgot
07/25.... 206.0 lbs Tom
08/01.... 201.4 lbs Will I never break 200? Always get close then back up!!
08/08.... 205.4 lbs something is up breaking out and hair & skin is extremely oily.
Pcos acting up? Could explain weird mood swings & depression.
08/15.... 204.4 lbs started Saw Palmetto to see if that helps.
08/22.... 205.6 lbs Tom. Left foot is swollen tight feeling. Being strict with eating, food.
Need more water? Heavy painful tom ARRRRGH
08/29....

kateryna

Way to go Diane and welcome back.

Heather

That is a great idea for keeping track of fluctuations and patterns. I think I should try tracking like you do, with each week in a row. I was also thinking of starting a journal to keep track of these things..... But I can't think of a title for it so I will have to hold off.

kateryna

Heather I was about to suggest that you start another journal. Why not? We miss you and maybe I'll do the same sort of trackig system, at least I'll try. I'm so goofy sometimes but then I have a good excuse for it. One of my co-workers has brain dead moments. I have brain dead days. Of course I always blame stuff like that on the stroke I had 10 years ago. It really, really works. Stops people dead in their tracks and they actually believe me so that I don't look stupid when I actually am.

Anyway, Diane has a good system, however I can't use Tom as an excuse anymore, nor can I use menopause. How about old age grumpiness? Brain-dead day? I'll figure something out.

Heather

How did your week go Diane?

Wheat is really awful for me. It takes me a week to feel better.

I believe TOM has a huge affect on cravings/emotions and such. I wish I could just "control" the way I feel with the crazy hormones.... Roll Eyes

Heather

Diane

Let's see I am trying to get ready for the March Kitchen Clean up.

Jan 7 08 219.6 lbs started to get my act together again. I did throw out the carby stuff and stocked up on meat and frozen vegetables. My Dh comes to visit and I tell him don't bring anything if your going to eat at my house your eating low carb.

He has kinda challenged me to prove that this low carb/no carb way of eating works. I do know that I feel better, less moody and more energetic. Blood pressure goes down and I can buy some smaller clothes.
I'm hoping my risk for cancer, heart troubles and diabetes goes down or is removed. My Mom has all the above.

So today after fighting cravings and other emotional pitfalls. I still managed to get down to 212.8 lbs. I have gotten rid of the, Diet drinks, the cream (I think I can't have it I get so sick after having some), Lunch meats gave to Dh, canned soups and the condiments.

The main thing is I find with the stress in the family right now. I want to eat, the sweeter the better, not a good thing to have to fight.
My Mother-in-Law loses her leg today, gangrene set in her foot and well
it doesn't look good for her long term survival. Her Birthday is next Sat she'll be 89 yrs old. My son who is taking paramedics training has seen her and has stated if the surgery doesn't kill her she'll last about 4 months.
I got a call from my Dad, my mom is back in the Hosp with an unknown infection. They put her in the Blood count room that scares me I have known a few people that went into that room and didn't leave alive. My dad feels the same way. His heart sank when they put her into that room.
It is an indicator on how sick she really is. It's out in the open we can't pretend everything is going to alright like we have been. I don't know why I keep every thing in I just do. I feel better when I write or talk to others about it.

And this too will pass. We will move on but it is hard right now.

Dean

Diane ,

I'm sorry to hear you are going through all this. My 84 year old father was just put into an Alzheimer’s unit at the nursing home. If it helps you to share it, don't hesitate. Hope things will look up in some regards. Take care of yourself.

jeff

Sorry to hear all that you're going through, Diane.

Diane

Dean Jeff Thank you. Dean I'll add your Dad to my prayers cause it is the only thing we can do for them.

I hope when I get to that age I go quick. I am helping my Dh write the obituary and eulogy and that is being therapeutic. My Mom well If i don't hear anything everything is OK for now. LOL that's my Dad.

But that is the point of eating this way to get healthy. No cancer, no diabetes, no heart disease and our brains functioning at full capacity.

I find it not too bad eating clean. I really don't do well on dairy I don't care for mayo and my cravings run to bone marrow (hard to find).
Do miss the kool aid.

I have to admit to being addicted to coffee and I find my taste for sweet is becoming reduced. I find that egg drink posted by Red in the recipe section tastes great and has no caffeines or dairy other than the butter. I have been drinking that instead of the coffee and adding a 1/4 cup of butter. I think it has caused me to whooosh dropped 3 lbs over night. I have been eating more and more rare and med rare meat and I was staying the same, then I added that drink.
Jan 07 08, 219.6lbs Feb 22 08, 211.6lbs Down 1 pant size. I have been stuck at 215.2 for a long time.

PS, Thanks for the tunes Dean. Now I have been searching for my favorite Songs.

Dean

Hey, Diane,

I'm finding it hard to deal with lots of dairy, myself. I'm still doin' cream and butter, though. The coffee is hard to kick. I've done it many times, but it always creeps back into my cup. Rare meat is what I'm doin'... movin' toward raw. And, I too am losing my taste for sweet in a big way. That's a huge milestone for this sugar addict. Yup

BTW, you're welcome to stop by my journal and pickup all the Kool-Aid you want. Shawn just dropped off another batch and it's really somethin', let me tell ya! For awhile there, all the trees we were sailing by on the Bus, were singing like a choir of stoned angels. Wow

Just be careful how much you drink. Wink

Heather

Nice to see you again Diane. Heart

Diane · Almost time to come back

Well My mother in law passed away on April 4 then my mother passed away on May 1 and I lose my job Sept 18. I have been emotional eating and trying to keep the carnivore foods at hand. People mean well too, bad they bring cake instead of lobster. My hubby understands he has been bringing sashimi and steaks. I did the same for him when his Mom passed.

Once I get over everything I'll be back!

I don't want to end the way my Mom did, she was high sugar to the end.

Diane

Kristelle

Best wishes to you, Diane.

~mina~

Dean

Diane, I'm sorry to hear about all that you've been going through. I know how it is to lose a mother. I also know how easy it is to use food for comfort. I've BTDT so many times.

Please take care of yourself and give yourself the time to grieve. We all look forward to your return.

Sunny

jeff

Sorry to hear of your losses, Diane. We're here for you.

Dean

Happy New Year, Diane! Heart

Diane's Flowering

RRRUUUM

Down and out

I'mmm back

Commiting myself to a goal!

Almost time to come back