| Archive for The Magic Bus Trip Never get off the Bus! |
| Karen G |
Fly Me Away to the Bright Side of the MoonAnd meet me on the other side.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Hdx9JjzDfo Not the original, but still sounds good. Anyways, on to my journal. I figured this would be the best place on the Bus to park my baggage. I tend to be a bit of a whiner, but I hope I can throw enough humor and sarcasm in to make it an easy read. 
All this exercise is kicking my ass. I lift weights and do a tiny bit of intervals with a trainer 3x/week, and I just started a yoga class last night. The yoga class on Wed. falls smack in between my Tues and Thurs workouts, and this is going to take some getting used to. Last night when I went, I was still a little sore from Tues, this morning I was more sore, and really dragging butt. After this morning's workout, I may be completely immobile by tomorrow am. The good news is that I believe I need smaller underwear. Thoughout my workout this morning, I spent most of my recovery time trying to discreetly pick my underwear out of my ass.  Ok, there really is no way to do that discreetly, so I'm sure everyone noticed.
I've lost a few lbs on ZC, so I will keep it up. But I'm going to add fish, shell fish, and eggs back in soon. I'm taking my kids on vacation in a few weeks and I need more options for eating out. Or maybe not, depending on how my taxes come out. 
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| Lynne |
hi and welcome to the bus.
i'm enjoying watching your ZC experiment. i wanted to add... your nails and hair are going to start growing like weeds! can't figure out if it's because of the lack of caffeine and calcium is being absorbed once again.. or if it's cutting out all the carbs that has done it.. but that will be the next thing you can watch!!!! good luck, enjoy the journey, and congrats on the new journal! Lynne |
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| Manaloa |
OMG Lynne! I thought it was just me. My nails grow like some mad science experiment!
Looking forward to hearing more from you Karen!! |
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| Lynne |
i have begun cutting my nails with scissors.. it's a waste of time to file them. | ||||||
| Billi-Jean |
Welcome to Journaland Karen! 
Look forward to sharing your journey, wining and all! 
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| Karen G |
Hey Lynne and Manaloa, thanks for stopping by. That is great news about hair/nails. My hair has always grown painfully slow. My last two haircuts were Jan. 2009 and May 2008. I usually can go about 6 months in between and have the same growth someone else would have in 2 months. Ugh.
Manaloa - thanks for the tip about ground beef. I find it easier to eat than steaks sometimes. I think I'm going to pick up some ground pork and start eating that, too. I'm going out tonight - WooHoo! I rarely get out. No alcohol for me  but I'm meeting a good friend, and it should be fun. 
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| Manaloa |
Tip? what tip? what did i say? I think I'm going senile.
Have fun tonight!! |
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| Karen G |
Thanks Billi-Jean.
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| Karen G |
I think it was in the Cafe, you said that you were eating ground beef almost exclusively for a couple days. I love hamburgers, so I've been eating a lot of ground beef patties. So maybe it wasn't really a tip, but I thought I'd give it a try, and it saved me the last couple days.
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| Karen G |
I've been humming this song all day.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cCIw4gc6G8Q&feature=related It's one of those songs that just reaches in and tugs at my heart. I think that most people can relate to the lyrics in this song at one point or another in their life, so I thought I'd post it. Today was a rough day. I was tired from staying up too late last night, and work was, well just one of those days... I don't have my kids tomorrow, so I should be able to get some stuff caught up. I will spend tonight cleaning up my house, which has been really neglected lately. I figure there aren't enough hours in the day to get all excited about getting every little thing done, but that catches up with me after a while. So I'll put away the deep ballads and put my headphones on and kick some ass. I wore a pair of jeans that were still too small about a month ago when I tried them on, so that was a good thing. If I hadn't run out of clean laundry, I never would have tried them on. I guess my horrible housekeeping pays off once in a while.
Hope everyone has a good weekend. Karen |
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| Manaloa |
oooooooooooooh! yeah that sounds like me. I use ground beef when I really don't care what I eat. It's convenience food for me, kind of like those microwavable meals from a prior life.
Have a great weekend!! |
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| Billi-Jean |
Love it!
It's a long-weekend for me and I have to tackle my housework too -agh, not one of my fortes either, but I'm running out of clothes too (and dishes for that matter) 
Sorry it's been a tough day, Karen 
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| Dean |
Tina, same thing for me with soft boiled eggs and butter. Quick and easy to make.  It was a long time ago, but, I too remember those microwave dinner days.
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| Karen G |
OMG I slept way to long today. I have got to start using an alarm clock on weekends. I hate alarm clocks. I hate being jolted out of sleep like that. But I sleep like a corpse, so it's the only thing that wakes me up. I've tried the alarms that use soft nature sounds to wake you up, I sleep right through them.
I didn't get the house cleaned last night. I ended up on the phone for work until after 8, so I just said to hell with it and watched a movie and went to bed. At least I have all day today. I'll clean for a couple hours and then see where I'm at. I have to do something while waiting for the laundry to get done so I have something to wear today anyways. I have to be at the gym at 6:30, so maybe I'll go into work tomorrow am before my kids get home. But then I have to set an alarm... I have to get to the grocery store today. Running out of meat... This song always gets me moving when I have stuff to get done. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BFaT69CyyKU&feature=related |
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| Karen G |
Ugh... Daylight savings. Totally pisses me off. I should have stayed in AZ long ago when I had the chance.
I went to the grocery store. I hate grocery shopping. I hate carrying all the stuff in the house when I get home. Yup, I'm lazy. Trying to get past that... so now I hate the grocery store because it's filled with carby crap. I was having ginormous cravings yesterday, and went to the grocery store after the gym. I did my usual bee line to the meat department, and then went to get the rest of the stuff I needed. I had to walk down the cookie aisle to get to the spices. And past the coffee to get to the deodorant. Assholes. I swear I almost picked up a package of oreos and licked it. I did sniff several packages of coffee. That stuff is like crack. A friend of mine has this saying... "Butch it up, Sally." So I kept telling myself, Butch it up, Sally. Stop being such a pussy and go home. Eventually I did. But only after I sniffed everthing in the damn store that I wasn't going to buy. I must have looked like a total freak, walking throught the store with a cart full of meat and smelling everything with sugar in it.
So today I will implement the denial technique. Every time I'm having a craving, I will tell myself, you are not having a craving. Like that even has a chance of working.
Ok, enough whining. I gotta take a shower and go to work, now that the time sucking bastards left me with one less hour. Ben Franklin's on my shit list today. |
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| jeff |
They do that on purpose, you know. Milk, for example, is an item that most people buy quite frequently. Especially people with kids. So what do they do? They put the milk waaaay in the back corner, as far from the door as they possibly can. This way you have to walk past everything else in the store to get to the milk. Yes, assholes.
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| Dean |
That's one nice thing about owning a large freezer and eating only meat and eggs and dry seasoning. Eggs keep a long time, but that is typically the one thing I have to go get fairly often, like every other week. I am not one to like any type of shopping. Being a modern consumer is just not in my nature. I've often considered seeing how long I could go without ever going near a grocery store. I could buy animals directly from local farmers, and often have, and I am planning on raising chickens for meat and eggs, with some friends in the country. I think this is doable, and may end up being a Challenge in the Ward for me in the near future. 
Karen, it feels good to bitch sometimes, doesn't it? As long as you can laugh at the whole thing afterwards and not internalize the shit, I think it is very therapeutic to get this out and not carry it around with you. WTG on resisting the temptation to cave. Cravings suck, don't they? Being exposed to your drugs of choice is a hard one, huh?. We are all so constantly exposed to the carbage in this world, aren't we? Stay strong, Sally. 
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| Karen G |
I also love how they block off front of the store to force you through the produce section... Oh well. I just have to get my mind in the right place before I go in there. |
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| Karen G |
You know what Dean, it does feel good. And I did eventually laugh about the possibility of licking the packaging. Gross, I wonder how many people touched it! I'm glad I didn't take it that far...
Thanks. I will.
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| Karen G |
Wierd, I was in the middle of typing about how beautiful the trees look in the freezing rain, and I lost power for just a second there. The wind is really picking up.
The trees are just mesmerizing. All the branches are encapsulated in ice, and a thousand tiny icicles are starting to form. I tried to take a picture, but the view from my front door doesn't do it justice. And I'm not going out there right now, it's pouring and the branches are flying off the trees. This isn't my tree, but it looks just like it: 
It's a good afternoon to grab a book and a blanket. 
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| Dean |
That poor little birdie looks cold.
You Wisconsinites have it made, don't ya?
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| jeff |
Well, we are the cow cum capital of the world.
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| Karen G |
Yes. We do. It looks like a freakin' blizzard out there now. It's not, but it looks like it. I guess trying to keep my balance on slick ice while shoveling later will be good exercise.
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| Karen G |
You betcha, baby, and proud of it!
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| Dean |
jeff, tell the governor that you wanna see that on the next batch of license plates.
Wisconsin Cow Cum Capitol of the World That's sorta catchy!
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| Karen G |
Something amazing just happened. I think found a cure for my cravings. At least it worked today...
Precursor to this story: my kids eat carbs. So I made hamburgers for dinner. Threw out the moldy hamburger buns this am, so they were stuck with bread (although I always give them to option not to eat it). As I was putting the bread on their plates, all I could think about was taking that whole loaf of bread and making butter sandwiches, and pigging out. The smell really knocked my on my ass. But I didn't eat any. While eating my hamburger, all I could think about was the bread. I even ate in the next room so I wouldn't have to look at it. It was definitely the worst craving I've had in the last week. And then I remembered, my rack is getting smaller. Yes, I'm talking about my boobs. The girls are my best reference for weight loss. They don't fluctuate randomly, and my mid-section does, and I don't hold any water weight there, as I do in my feet/ankles/hands/wrists. But they definitely stay in proportion with the rest of my body. When I gain, they grow. When I lose, they shrink. And just this morning I was thinking that I will need new bras in a week or two if I continue to lose.
Bread craving disappeared. Almost instantly.
So... when I have a craving, all I have to do is feel myself up a little, and it will go away.
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| Dean |
Does it work the same when paleoman does it?
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| Karen G |
Paleoman doesn't do it quite right. I keep trying to gently guide him, but... sometimes you just have to take things into your own hands.
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| Steve J |
It seems I could get replace my fridge with a same-sized upright freezer. Grab one of those larger dorm/office fridges for keeping the few fridge items (eggs, butter,water) cool or thawing out meat from the freezer.. Load up on meat when the sales are on and save a few bucks. |
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| Dean |
Steve,
I don't wanna hijack Karen's journal, but, since it is a tradition around here, what the hell.
I've got a frost-free upright freezer that is the same size as an apartment size fridge (the one's with the freezer up top). It allows me to stock up on all kinds of great deals, including big turkeys. I have used it many times to get bulk meat from local farmers. I would get a quarter or half animal, and sometimes a whole animal, like a pig. Some of the best meat I've ever had came from those farms. I would also get nearly free deer meat. I have paid for my freezer several times over with all the savings on meat. For a carnivore, it's definitely worth the investment.
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| Karen G |
No worries about threadjacking. After all, not everyone wants to talk about me feeling myself up.
I only have the freezer that's on the other side of my fridge. I would like to get another one, but have nowhere to put it, and I don't know if my electrical system can handle something else that runs constantly. But that's another story for another time. I'm planning to start getting my meat from a meat market nearby. It's a little more expensive, but fresher cuts, and I've heard that they have good sales. Then I won't have to walk down the cookie aisle in the grocery store as often. It would be nice to have more freezer space for stocking up.
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| Dean |
Karen, you mentioned a basement. Perhaps you can get a chest freezer that you can have down there. They come in pretty small sizes. You can get good deals on craigslist.
Great idea on going to the meat market. I get a lot of cuts that are cheaper and a LOT better from the large meat processor a couple miles away. Their meat counter is HUGE and there is ONLY meat in that place! No cookies to lick!
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| Karen G |
The basement isn't an option, at least not now. I have a very old house, and the basement doesn't have much heat. And I can't afford to heat it more than it is. I assume that the freezer needs to be above 50F to function, and it's not always that warm down there. I've also had sewage back up in my basement twice in the last 18 months, so I don't want to risk ruining all that food and the freezer itself. Someday I'll have it all fixed and then that would work. This house needs so much work that it will be a while. I guess I could get something small and put it in the laundry until then. I'll just have to rearrange and see if I can fit something in there.
I guess I'll have to just lick meat, then.
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| y0u |
See, y0u DO know how to get plenty of Zinc.
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| Karen G |
I told y0u I did. I hope the butcher's up for it.
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| Dean |
You guys must have very happy meat men in your towns!
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| Karen G |
I'm sure he'd go for it if they could get an extra $20 for them. |
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| Karen G |
I do like a man who's happy to see me.
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| y0u |
How do y0u think I get such beautiful steaks? Thinking of changing Professions Dean?
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| Dean |
Well, come to think about it, I always wondered why those meat men seemed so content with their jobs!
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| Karen G |
It's because they have very loyal customers...
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| y0u |
AND...they get paid!
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| Dean |
Hmmm... paid AND laid!
Maybe I should reconsider my profession afterall.
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| jeff |
It is great use of alliteration!
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| jeff |
You must be north of me, then. We did not get much snow here, but I noticed on the weather channel that it seemed to be snowing pretty hard north of Madison. |
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| Karen G |
I'm northeast of you. It really came down, but a lot of it melted in the rain that was on the ground. It ended up to be only about 2 inches, but with the crunchy frozen slush underneath. The wind was really strong. A tree across the street lost a limb. At least it didn't fall on someone's house... |
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| Karen G |
So this CKD thing takes some planning, I'm finding. That would be planning to not buy so much stuff to eat on carb up day that it is all staring you down the rest of the week. But I made it through the first few days of cravings, and it's getting better already. My kids better eat the bananas pretty soon, cuz there is no way I'm making banana bread with them when they get too ripe!
I bought a sport bra today for yoga. Buying a sport bra when you are big is not easy. Hell, getting one on when you are big is a workout in itself. There are websites you can order the larger ones from, but my luck is they won't fit and I'll have to send them back. So I went to walmart for one. It's a bit too small, but it's not like I have to jump around or anything. I hope it works, because I don't want to try to hold a downward dog position while feeling my boobs slip right up out of the top of my regular bra again. There are only so many times you can break the pose to readjust before you start to draw attention to yourself.
So off to do laundry and watch a little tv and then to bed early. Long day tomorrow, lots of driving. |
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| y0u |
I am going to be so happy when my boobs shrink more. I am a DD and it just aint right! I know that men love em..but the fuckers get in the way...a nice C would be just fine.
I wanna be the president of the Itty Bitty Titty Committee!! 
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| Karen G |
I couldn't have said it better.
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| Lynne |
These DDD's dream of being perky B's...
in my next life... |
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| Heather L |
I hear this a lot from the women around me . The smaller breasted ones want more, and the "well-endowed" want smaller breasts. Thankfully, I have no troubles with my D cup...no back or bra issues. Maybe it would be uncomfortable to run long distances, but that isn't going to happen anyway. I used to think it would be great to have larger ones, but have changed my mind after hearing the many horror stories of friends.
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| Karen G |
I've been trying to figure out what to do about what I eat, and I'm stumped.
I've been in a weird place with food lately. It's hard to explain. I just don't know what to eat. That sounds so stupid, but that's what it feels like. And when I don't know what to eat, I eat junk. So tomorrow I am off the junk again. But I'm trying to figure out what to eat, and I just don't know where to start. Since I've started LC I've been on some sort of plan, mostly counting carbs, sometimes regulating ratios, sometimes both. I just want to be able to eat well without having to track everything and follow some predetermined plan. I've never been able to do that... Oh well. I guess I better come up with some idea of what I'm going to do so I can go to the store. |
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| Dean |
Karen,
I've never counted anything or followed any plan in my life. What I always do is have a list (in my head or otherwise) of the foods I will allow myself to eat, and I will eat within those parameters. Of course, I've always used a paleo perspective in my desired WOE and believed in sticking to natural unprocessed foods as much as possible, so, even if it was any fresh vegetables and fruits along with the high fat meats and eggs, I would easily lose on a consistent basis and feel good in my health. The one caveat in all of it has always been dairy, coffee, wine. I've had to figure out the incorporation of those things, but, it usually works out fine. Eliminating condiments entirely has really worked out well for me, keeping questionable things out of my diet. I may need to bring some things like carrots into my diet, to see if that reduces carb cravings. I don't believe that strict ZC eating has any virtue other than simplicity. To say it is superior to all other WOE is ridiculous, IMO. Of course, I've never subscribed to the cult of personality that many seem to lean toward.
HTH a little. Keep your chin up and it will all come into shape over time (never overnight). There's no magic pill or instant Kool-Aid. That's just a marketing gimmick.
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| Karen G |
Simplicity is what I think I am struggling with. When I get too simple with my food, I crave bad stuff. I think I need variety.
I think that my philosophy resembles Dean's that when I think of eating "healthy" I think of eating natural foods. I used to be of the low fat, highly processed school of thought, and I'm glad I've gotten past that. I've had a difficult time with the strict 0 carb, and even with VLC, because I don't see anything wrong with vegetables and even fruit as long as it doesn't make me feel like crap. So in my quest to find my own WOE, I've decided to try some variations. I do find that I feel best with some sort of low carb WOE. So I am going to try something similar to South Beach for a while. Higher in veggies and lower in fat than atkins, but maybe the variety will be easier for me and feel less like a diet. I hope that eventually I can come up with something that works for me and that I don't have to struggle with so much. I do have to say that if there was magic koolaid out there that would melt off 75 lbs and cure my food addiction, I'd be lining up with a bucket in hand. All I want is to feel good, like how I look, and stop thinking about food all the time. |
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| Dean |
Sounds like great goals, Karen.
Obsessing over food (or anything) is extremely unhealthy. If you find yourself doing that, figure out a way to get over that. It's easy to fall into that crap. Finding balance in one's life is far better than finding the perfect diet. There is no perfect diet, anyway. I'm sure you know ways to feel good about yourself, and outward appearance is not all there is. The inner self is what really matters most. You are very smart and have a good outlook on life, so, I'm sure you will get there no problem. The black box is full of light, right?
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| Karen G |
Thanks, Dean. 
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| Karen G |
Today I am getting back on the bus. For the last couple of weeks, I've been telling myself that tomorrow will be the day. Tomorrow finally arrived.
I feel like crap. Like all the crap I've been eating. I feel like a giant f-ing piece of cake dripping with melted ice cream. Heavy, sloppy, and lifeless. Four days ago, I was the same weight I was in the beginning of February. Not only does that suck, but it carries a really high level of suckitude. It's sucktastic. But I only have myself to blame. I'm struggling with kicking myself over this; I know that isn't productive. I'm trying to see the last few weeks as something to remember when I want to "take a break" from exercising and eat junk food in the future. But I'm not quite there yet. I'm still saying "You idiot, why did you do that to yourself?" I think after a couple days I'll start to feel better and see things for what they are and stop making such a big deal out of it. For now, the idiot thing is motivating me to get going again. So today I am re-committing to my goals, and to myself. I have to keep reminding myself that this is going to take much more effort and time that I want it to, and stop letting the slow progress get to me. If I had only lost one pound a week, I'd be 8 pounds ahead of where I am now, and probably a size smaller. So no more being disappointed with slow progress. It's better than no progress, right? It sounds weird, but I just want to get to where I don't worry about what I look like. In my early 20s, I would go to the grocery store in my pjs if I didn't feel like changing, because I was secure enough to not give a shit what other people thought of me. That's my goal. To get to the point where I can go to the store in my pj's again. It's as much emotional as it is physical. I don't know how long or how much work it will take, but it will be worth it when I get there... |
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| y0u |
Welcome to my world..of self loathing and dispair...I gained a bunch of weight since getting off the Metformin..yeah me...NOT! It's not from eating off plan though...or from lack of exercise. I refuse to believe that because I ate a few (very few) veggies I gained 9 pounds in 2 weeks.
Hope you find peace..and a plan that works for you. I am going back to really basic ZC for a bit....no cheese..etc...just cream in minimal 1/2 decaf coffee. I like your idea of not worrying what you look like..sigh..maybe some day...Hope we both can do this..
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| Heather L |
Karen- I agree with you. Slow progress is progress, and shouldn't make us feel bad. I go through that... I am never a fast loser. Hang in there and go easy on yourself. | ||||||
| Heather |
Keep hanging on, it is always a journey, never a destination. 
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| Dean |
Yes, those are wise words. It's a journey. Don't trip on the destination, cuz god only knows where that is.
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| jeff |
Exactly. The Bus trip is a life-long ride! |
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| Karen G |
Arrrggghhh!!
I can't believe it really took me three weeks after my last post to make it through two days. But I finally did it! I feel like I'm getting back on track now. Thanks everyone for the support... I've been a mess lately, and it's so nice to read all the friendly comments. Hope everyone has a great weekend. |
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| Heather |
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| Karen G |
Hey everyone! I'm finally going to stop lurking...
After about two weeks of staying on track, I've lost about 1/3 of what I gained in the few months where I was struggling. It's amazing how fast the weight comes back. I'm happy that I didn't regain everything I lost previously, but I did put on more than half. I'm trying really hard to stay in a good place, with realistic goals. No more race to lose the weight. I was emotionally setting myself up for failure by being unsatisfied with the speed of my progress. My new goal is to get to my goal size by July 2010. That would be 7-8 dress sizes smaller than I am now. And then I will be smokin' hot! JK - but it does help to mentally picture myself smaller when I am tempted to eat crap. I'm not being quite so strict as before with my food, but keeping my carbs around 20-30 per day. Some days much less. I kind of eat what I am hungry for, and I hope that the natural variety keeps me from getting into a rut and running to my beloved cake and ice cream. This past weight gain started something new for me, extreme heel pain in one foot. I've always had sore feet after walking a lot while heavy, but not like this. I did some reading on the internet, and I hope it will get better with weight loss. In the mean time, it's really affecting my ability to walk for exercise. I've been doing yoga instead, which I enjoy more anyways. The only problem there is that it leaves a very expensive treadmill to collect dust. Oh well, can't win 'em all. I'll eventually be able to get back on that treadmill someday. Work has been a beast lately, so I might not be posting a ton, but I am going to make an effort to be less sporadic and more accountable - and to remind myself I am in this for the long haul. |
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| y0u |
Welcome back Karen..I missed ya!!
I am eating 20something carbs a day too..and losing just fine..ya gotta do what you can live with. |
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| jeff |
Hey, there's my fellow Cheesehead!!! Welcome back, Karen. | ||||||
| kateryna |
Welcome back Karen 
Seems to me you've set realistic goals and taking it one day at a time is what some of us are doing with much success I might add. |
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| Karen G |
Thanks everyone! It's good to be back. | ||||||
| Karen G |
Had a great night out with co-workers on Friday. I ended up drinking more beer than I planned (we were passing das boot, and I couldn't get it to stop spashing me). Other than that, I stuck to my vodka. It was a blast, really nice to get out and spend some time with friends.
So today it's back to the grind. Besides the weekend, I've been doing pretty good with my food. I'm trying to cut back on cheese this week. I have a bunch of family get togethers coming up, that should be interesting as far as food goes... |
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| jeff |
Hey Karen, I had a run-in with a boot once at the Essen House in Madison.  Ever been there?
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| Karen G |
I've never been there, but sometime I'll have to check it out. I've gotta say that the boot thing is a riot with a good group of people... | ||||||
| jeff |
It was alot of fun, as I recall. |
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| Karen G |
Two weeks ago I hurt my knee on vacation. I spent a few days in a wheelchair, and have had several doctor appointments, an MRI, and an initial appointment with an orthopedic surgeon. I've been advised to start physical therapy to determine if I need to have my ACL reconstructed or if I can go without it by one doctor, and advised to have the surgery by another. Their reasoning is this: the doctor who thinks I should avoid surgery says I may not need it because I don't play sports, the doctor who thinks I should have surgery says I am too young to limit myself that much.
I'm leaning towards getting the surgery because even though I am not especially active now, I don't want to limit myself to being this inactive forever. And without this ligament, I'll always have an increased chance of my knee giving out on me again, and the prospect of sitting on the floor completely helpless again like the woman in the "I've fallen and I can't get up" commercial scares the shit out of me. I am also still experiencing pain and a lot of swelling in my leg after walking on it for even a short time. I don't know if that will go away with time or not. I've been told that the surgery is outpatient, but the recovery can be long and difficult. Anyone have any experience with an injury like this or the surgery and recovery required to reconstruct the ligament? I want to get as much information as I can before making this decision. 
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| jeff |
Wow, sorry about your knee. Good luck! | ||||||
| Budzinski |
I've had ACL-reconstruction twice in left knee and once, just before x-mas, in right knee. Adherence to rehabilitation is key. And patience. It may take a year until you'll be able to play tennis, sprint or whatever kind of strenuous exercise you like. Bicycling, swimming, easy running, hiking and such will be possible after 2-3 months.
My first time I forced my going back to playing soccer too much. And I ended up with a bad result. Loose ligaments. Second time I had more patience and a better result. Unfortunately, this third instance I've had too much work and too much on the home front (2 pre-schoolers) and so it is not going as well as it could. My point is this. Make sure that you have the time and the stamina and the back-up from the home front to commit to doing all the exercises (and they are boring and repetitive, I tell you) and getting enough rest. And then you will be fine. A rehab periode does not, however, mix well with a stressing lifestyle. Good luck. |
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| y0u |
Although I did not have any choice in the matter..well i did..either walk or don't walk again. I severed my achilles tendon last year and had it sewn back together along with the back of my heel cut off (bone spur). I was in a wheel chair/walker for 4-5 months..crawled up stairs (2 flights) for 2 months.
It was not fun . I couldn't put any weight on it at all for 8 weeks..and then very limited weight for about 4 months. It took an entire year to entirely heal properly but boy am I glad I let it heal well...I can now do so much more...including riding my bike over 100 miles a week and standing at work 8 hours a day on concrete. I made sure I had a really good sports injury surgeon. and did everything the physical therapist said to do..check yours out first. good luck.. |
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| MetalMama |
Ouch - don't have any experience in that area but hope you feel better soon! | ||||||
| Karen G |
Thank you, everyone, for your feedback and encouragement!
Budzinski - Thank you for the advice, it's encouraging to hear that you've gone through this 3 times, and that if I follow directions I can get back to life as it was before. I don't do a lot of strenuous exercise, but in talking with the physical therapist, he said that playing badminton or running after my kids in the park would not be an option without surgery, as walking/running on any uneven surface is the most likely thing to trigger my knee giving out and possbily creating further damage. That pretty much made up my mind right there. Y0u - OMG! That story is a testament to your inner strength. Y0u are inspiring. The biggest impact this injury has had on me is that I realized how much I was taking my mobility for granted. This experience is already pushing me to get up off my butt and do all those things I've always wanted to do but keep putting off. It's definitely a wake up call - I'm sure that this would not have happened if I wasn't so overweight. I won't go into the whole embarrassing story right now, but when the injury happened, I was just trying to take a big step up, and somehow turned my body without turning my foot. I wasn't playing football, soccer, tennis, basketball, or trying to break the olympic record for the long jump. I was just being a fat person standing on one leg. I have to change that. |
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| y0u |
Sounds like your head is in the right place. And never take your mobility for granted..I know I will never do so again. Being in a wheelchair sucked!!
You will be just fine..and again..I stress..research your surgeon first. |
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| Karen G |
Still working at physical therapy for my knee. Range of motion is improved, but that's about it so far. It started to go out again when I went to sit on a foot stool to clean out my kitchen cupboards this weekend, and since then is making a little click-click feeling every time I bend it. Tomorrow I find out if I can start riding a stationary bike to build strength, or if I fucked it up further. I am starting to hope I don't have to fight the surgeon to get the surgery. I can handle the rehab and taking it easy until it heals, but the thought of worrying about every movement for the rest of my life is less appealing each day.
Enough whining - I have good news, too! I've lost about 9 lbs in the last couple weeks being back on the bus So the water weight is probably pretty much gone, and I'm looking forward to getting a load of fat off this body over the next year. It's such a good feeling to make it through more that just a few days without falling into the carb-pit of despair and self loathing...
I feel a resolve I had earlier in the year that this is possible for me. I lost it for a while, but I'm getting it back. I find myself doing really hokey stuff like repeating in my head "you can do this" and "it's only food" when I get cravings. It helps. I think I'm beginning to understand the level of my carb addiction and the hold I've let it have over me. It's silly, really, how I let myself get so twisted up and manipulated into this ridiculous cycle of eating to feel better and then feeling guilty for what I've eaten. The picture it creates in my mind is one of a dancer and instructor (for some odd reason, I don't know why). The dancer messes up, the instructor says "Again" and the cycle keeps repeating itself. All I have to do to break that cycle is get it right the first time. So that's become another of my hokey mantras: "No repeats." Here's to a "no repeat" September! |
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| kateryna |
Yayy to a new resolve and a great start and the loss of 9 pounds 
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| Heather L |
Karen- I know what it is like to fall and get back up... over and over. It can be tempting to self- loathe, but it only makes it worse. You will get better and stronger as you make your new habits into a solid lifestyle. If you refuse to give up, then I know you will succeed.
Great job on losing over the last couple weeks. That is awesome. |
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| Karen G |
Didn't win the lottery last night. Bummer. | ||||||
| kateryna |
I didn't either. Bummer
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| Karen G |
Trip and fall, and get back up, right? My daughter's birthday cake completely derailed me. After spending more than a few hours baking and decorating, I completely lost my head and binged on cake for 4 days. But I'm back on track today. It turned out ok, I should have stuck to looking...
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| MetalMama |
Stunning cake Karen - just beautiful.
As long as you keep getting back up - that's all that counts! |
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| y0u |
If I made a cake like that...I would have had a few bites as well..gorgeous!
y0u are only human...
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| jeff |
What an awesome looking cake! | ||||||
| Karen G |
Thanks MetalMama, Y0u, and Jeff! I love cake decorating, but I only do it twice a year for my kids' birthdays, so I tend to go a little overboard.
I'm hoping by the next birthday, next spring, it won't be so much of an issue for me to have it in the house. I'm still hanging in there today, but the cravings are brutal. I'm gonna go stuff myself with meat until I can't possibly want to eat anything else. I can see the light at the end of this tunnel; usually as I get to 4-5 days in, the cravings get much easier. |
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| Karen G |
Start the 4 days over, I ate ice cream last night.
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| y0u |
Good girl Karen...eat your meat..
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| Karen G |
Stressed out this weekend. House is a disaster, work is overwhelming, and I go to the doctor tomorrow to talk about surgery on my knee.
I'm taking food one day at a time, and not doing so hot. Instead of telling myself to start over, I am just going to continue. Maybe I won't psyche myself out so much... |
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| y0u |
Sorry that life is stressful right now Karen, just do the best you can. Hope the knee consultation goes well....I will be thinking of you. 
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| surfergirl |
I also hope all goes well. Ask him about your heel pain too, maybe they can inject it and help that too while you are there. Please remember medication may stall your weight loss a bit temporarily but don't worry. This too shall pass. Lots of love going your way. |
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| Karen G |
Thanks y0u and surfergirl. I'll let you know what happens... | ||||||
| MetalMama |
You've got it right Karen - just keep on going. Stress is a real diet killer! Hope you're feeling better all around soon! | ||||||
| kateryna |
Not that I planned it that way but stress is a killer. It's no wonder that I did cheat during the busiest week of the year, first week of fall term. I didn't plan the cheat, it just got to me. Now no more excuses
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| Karen G |
Blue October - Let It Go | ||||||
| Karen G |
Surgery scheduled for mid-October. I have to decide on the type of graft I want this week. I did not expect doc to leave that up to me. We went over the pros and cons of using a graft from my own patellar tendon or the same from a cadaver. I've got until Friday to let them know which one I'm going with.
Work, and home for that matter, have me completely stressed out. Not enough time or money in either situation. Screw it all, I'm going to cook some pork and sit on the couch and watch Biggest Loser. |
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