Shan
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Shan's Whimsical Mystical Bus TripFull speed ahead 
Basic intro dropped off at the Bus Stop yesterday!
Some physical goals I have:
Weight:
Current Weight today: 284.4 lbs (Height 5" 3 1/2')
First major goal: 250 lbs, because I haven't seen this in over 6 years and I felt SO much better at that weight then I do now.
Second major goal: 215 lbs, I last weighed this when I broke up with my then fiancee in 1994. I have never regretted this 
Third major goal: 199 lbs, ONEDERLAND....need I say more?
Fourth major goal: 170 lbs, OMG I was 15 the last time I weighed this.
?Final goal?: 150 lbs, Dare to dream big 
Bloodwork:
HDL >40
Triglycerides <150
Blood Sugar: stay out of diabetic range--runs in the family
Fitness: (subject to modification/upgrades as I discover what fitness is)
To be able to walk endlessly like I used to without difficulty breathing and pain in body
To learn more about strength training and weight lifting
Basically, to discover fitness 
Current Eating Plan
moving toward Zero Carb/ZCarnivore
No grains, starchy veggies.
No sugar or AS
No alcohol
No fruit except occasional berries
Vegetation as condiment or very occasional
Yes All animal products as desired
Yes Cream, Butter, occasional Cheese
Yes Coffee
Yes Water, Sparkling Water
Yes Coconut Oil, Mayo (using last of my supplies)
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Shan
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Ok, we'll start on the above plan tomorrow...actually now 
I have had an evil day!
Woke up at 1 am to get a cold water out of the fridge...it wasn't cold. Apparently our fridge bit the big one a couple days ago. I discovered all the meat in the freezer was completely thawed and barely cold. So here I am from 1-3 am, cooking the various types of steak out of the freezer (slow roast and slow cooker), moving the stuff from that fridge to the other. (We have two fridges for the 4 people who live in the house) Throwing stuff away. The good news is I was checking with maintenance at my work as to how/where to get fridge fixed..and the president was in the maintenance office. He says he has a perfectly good refrigerator in his storage that he will just give us...left over from a home remodel.
So I got back up at 6 am to go to work. I get into work where I have way too much stuff to get done today. There I sit working away trying to meet deadlines. Major Situation #2. An email goes around saying there is a major fire across the street, the road we're on is shut down, and we need to keep our students in the buildings (I work at a technical college). About a half hour later, we are told that we are now to evacuate for the rest of the day. My work day is less than half over, but we are done for the day. Normally this would be cause to celebrate, but my deadlines are pressing in on me right now and this 1/2 day off just makes it worse. At least the fire wasn't on the campus!
Major Situation #3: I get home and my sister is really upset. She has been off work on medical leave for 2 1/2 months. Her tests are back in, she needs to go for more tests, and the neurologist is talking neurosurgeon and major back surgery. Not to mention he refuses to release her for work and her medical leave from the Family and Medical Leave Act is up in two weeks. After that she is no longer guaranteed her job back.
Today is just 
My sister decides to order pizza. Did I stick with my new program for improving my health? Hell No 
I ate 7 pieces of pizza and one piece of "dessert" pizza. It was trying to stuff my emotions by stuffing my face. And, of course, physically I feel worse, not better...which is what overeating empty carbs (especially wheat) will do. I went to sleep for two hours after that...stress and carb nap.
This is the kind of *&%^$ I need to stop doing 
So there it is...this sucks for my first day's journal entry  I'm not even going to say, "I'm starting over tomorrow" because that could lead to late night pizza eating tonight to "finish it off". I'm not going to eat anything else off plan the rest of today.
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y0u
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Sorry you had a sucky day.
I have lots of them but I broke the connection between bad day/eat off plan a long time ago. One does not have to lead to the other. Find something else to replace it with. I go on walks or dig in the garden or play online until anger/sadness/frustration subsides.
Good deal on the new frig!!
Good luck, I wish you the best.
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MetalMama
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Hey Shan 
Sorry about your crap day...sucks. Looks like you've got a real good plan laid out for yourself though.
Congrats to you for putting it out there for all to see, that's a big step in itself for sure.
I still tend to head to food when I'm off emotionally - but now if I can't distract myself with something else I just fry up some bacon. It's a definite comfort food if you ask me...but guilt free.
Best of luck to you!
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Dean
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 to Journaland, Shan! 
Thanks for the honesty. It will serve you well in your struggle to throw off this monster. I've had the exact same struggles over the past few years. It's not something that you should expect to accomplish right away, but, if you are honest with yourself and others, you will be able to throw it off your back eventually.
Keep the faith and stay on the Bus. There's no other way to get there but to go through it. The more you try the more you will succeed.
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Heather
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 Hang in there. I'm sure we have all been in similar situations with similar reactions.
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Shan
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Thanks everyone! A much better day today.
Food Today:
Chicken Hot Wings
Feta Cheese
Lots of Roast Beef
Cup of Coffee w/heavy cream & stevia
Water, Sparkling Water
2 leftover sugarfree Valentines candies (off-plan)
1 can of diet soda (off-plan)
I'm pretty full right now, but if I eat more it will be roast beef. I roasted all the steaks and one roast which were thawed in the fridge catastrophe!
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y0u
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Yeah...Good job on the eats today...your back on the bus!!
I was just digging in my garden and found a bunch of potatoes and beets..I am gonna give em away to the neighbors..but for a second there... Visions of Borstch danced in my head...
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jeff
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Welcome to Jounaland, Shan. Sorry about your crappy day. Your plan looks great. Stick with it and you'll have great success! Not that you won't have slip-ups along the way. Almost everybody does. Just don't let them get you down. Always get right back on the Bus.
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Shan
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Thanks y0u and Jeff
Add to yesterday's eats:
2 All Beef Hotdogs, no fillers, w/mustard
Monterey Jack Cheese
Another Diet Soda (off-plan)
Some late night snacking...I hope to cut that out.
Today's Menu:
Roast Beef
Hot Pepper Jack Cheese
Diet Soda (off-plan)
Cheddar Bratwurst
Water, Sparkling Water
I've knocked the AS down to 1-2 sodas a day, but I am really trying to eliminate them. I started drinking plain sparkling water a couple weeks ago and cut my soda way down. It really is time to eliminate them all together!
I'm really tired today....exhausted, in spite of sleeping well. I'm hoping that it is just my body adjusting to using fats instead of carbs as energy.
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jeff
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| Quote: | | I'm really tired today....exhausted, in spite of sleeping well. I'm hoping that it is just my body adjusting to using fats instead of carbs as energy. |
That is most likely the case. There is usually a transition period. Most people do better within a few weeks.
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Shan
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I'm managing to stick with LC/VLC, but ZC and no AS are harder than I expected.
Today's eats (so far)
Coffee w/half-n-half and Splenda (off-plan)
Roast Beef "soup"--little bit of beef, broth, butter
Shrimp w/little bit cocktail sauce
Celery Sticks
Broccoli Pieces
3 raw peapods
Cream cheese and dried veggie bread dip (on the veggies).
Sparkling Water
We had a birthday celebration at work today. Usually I try to avoid those, but I had to go into the break room to ask my boss a question and I ended up staying for the party. I ate LC, but too many veggies, I think. I haven't been eating veggies much at all, and now my tummy feels bloated from the veggies I ate
The half-n-half is because I forgot to bring in my heavy cream to work this Monday morning. I want to kick the Artificial Sweetener thing before March begins. I didn't think it would be so hard, but I'm really having a hard time letting the sweet-taste go!
I'm finding it hard to get my head around eating just meat, eggs, cheese without the veggies. Also, I thought I was ready to give up the "fake foods" like LC cheesecake, Atkins bars, etc. But I'm really craving that garbage too!!! It is hard to stop thinking that I'm "missing out on something".
I gave up on LC a while ago, because I wasn't having much success with it. After reading a lot of info, articles, and forum stuff from people who are ZC, I really think this is the way I need to go. It's just hard for me to get the head, the heart, and the doing all on the same page 
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jeff
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| Quote: | | I want to kick the Artificial Sweetener thing before March begins. I didn't think it would be so hard, but I'm really having a hard time letting the sweet-taste go! |
Shan, the AS really does need to go. Several reasons. Anything that tastes sweet can lead to an excess insulin response. Excess insulin means no weight loss. Also, when we eat something sweet tasting, the body expects that to be followed by sugar. When it doesn't get it, it SCREAMS for more. (cravings)
As far as veggies go, if you believe Bear, they are fairly useless as far as nutrition goes. When eaten raw, they are mostly indigestible. When cooked, most of the nutrients are destroyed. I've been practically veggie free for over 3 years now, and I've never been healthier or felt better. And I'm not suffering from scurvy or any other deficiency diseases either! 
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Shan
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Thanks Jeff!
Yeah, I'm 100% in agreement with the AS going...I'm just having a hard time following through on that. No diet soda today! So just the AS of the Splenda packet in the coffee
I read Bear's original thread on ALC, and I re-read it in January. I've always liked most of my veggies...of course that is with dip or butter or something. So I probably didn't really like the veggies them selves, but the add-ons.
It is hard to ignore years of "eat your veggies, they are good for you" comments. I'm getting there, but it does take a paradigm-shift level of thought
Add to eats today:
3 BBQ ribs--lightly BBQ'd
Pork Loin w/mustard & cream sauce
| Quote: | | And I'm not suffering from scurvy or any other deficiency diseases either! |
Yes Jeff...you look VERY healthy in your picture! 
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jeff
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Perhaps giving up the AS gradually would be the way to go for you. Dean did that with coffee and it worked well for him.
I agree with it being hard to ignore all the years of "eat your veggies". That, and the low fat crap. We have had that stuff pounded into our heads for so long. It is difficult to let it go.
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jeff
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| Quote: | | So I probably didn't really like the veggies them selves, but the add-ons. |
You know....it occured to me a long time ago that this was true of most carby foods. Think about pasta, potatoes, veggies, bread. Think about eating them plain. No butter, sauce, seasonings, etc. In most cases, it's not very appealing. So you're right, it's not the actual food that we like, but the add-ons.
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Shan
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Hi all...I've been away for a couple days.
We had a cancer scare with my dad, but it wasn't cancer. His entire stomach is ulcerated. WTF! How does your whole stomach get ulcerated? Anyway, I am VERY thankful he doesn't have stomach cancer.
Yesterday's Eats:
cup of coffee w/heavy cream
water/sparkling water
homemade shrimp scampi.
I didn't eat much yesterday...just a lot of worries waiting for test results today.
Today's Eats:
2 cups of coffee w/heavy cream
water/sparkling water
roast porkloin w/mustard-cream sauce
ground beef (that is the plan, I'm not sure how I'm going to fix it yet)
Today makes 2 days with no sweet taste at all..real or artificial
I got a little derailed a couple days ago when we first found out my dad might have cancer, but a good friend pulled me back on track. My friend TJ is 100% behind me on this VLC/ZC thing. She has tried Atkins, but told me she messes up everytime she adds carbs back. I told her that was the point of VLC/ZC...never add the carbs back. She says she just can't do that...but she is very supportive of me doing it. She helped me pull my head out of my butt before I could dive into a carb coma
Off to look into the March Challenge!
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jeff
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It sounds like you have a very good freind, Shan. Great news about your dad, too.
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Shan
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Thanks Jeff! Yep, TJ is a great friend.
For dinner, I've cooked the hamburger w/onions and green chiles, and I'm going to top with a little cheese and some sour cream...YUM!
My Sister and her EVIL food shopping today
My sister is "LCing" too...her own plan. Which means she eats fewer carbs then SAD, but..... We just have totally different concepts/philosophies of food. She went grocery shopping today. I came home and there is: sugar free Jello pudding, sugar free ice-cream, "carb control" tortillas, South Beach snack bars, Russell Stovers sugar free chocolate Easter bunnies, etc now overflowing our food area. She doesn't understand the concept of "frankenfoods" and she gets offended when I tell her, "eat something real, that isn't real food." It just kills me to see her buy/eat this stuff. She is off work on medical disability, so her money is really, really tight. And she weighs 100 lbs more than me. But she just doesn't "get it". From her perspective, of course, I am just being "extreme" with this talk about zero carb.
AAAaarrrGH!!! 
Venting over
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KATHYINTX
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Hey, Shan!
Just lurking in your journal.... I'm a newbie here too! Happy to hear that your Dad doesn't have Cancer... hope he feels better soon!  As far as your sister goes, we all have to start somewhere. Why is it that many of us hate getting advice from family?!! LOL. Our family is notorious for getting their feathers ruffled over the little things!!
How's the elimination of AS working for ya? I don't think I'm ready to do that yet, but maybe in the next few months or so. I try to use liquid AS in my coffee like Davinci SF syrups... zero carbs with no fillers like the packets.... but, I'm sure they release a spike in my sugars.
Hope you have a great weekend... PM me anytime!
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Shan
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Hi Kathy
I've only been at this for a week, and I'll be honest...giving up AS has been the hardest. The first week I tried to keep it to one or two servings of AS a day (in coffee or a diet soda). I just couldn't seem to give it up all together. I did finish day 2 of no AS yesterday. Today will be day 3. I really have cravings for something "sweet"!
About my sister--she is also one of my roomie's and my best friend. So I just hate to see her going this way. She has a real problem with sweets, although it hasn't "shown up" in her bloodwork yet. When she's *on* LC (she goes off at least once a week at this point), she eats tons of sugar free "treats"--2 or 3 a day. When she is *off* LC, she eats all kinds of large amounts of sugar stuff...like I've seen her eat a 1/2 lb chocolate bar in one sitting I don't judge, because I have my own problems with emotional eating and food issues, etc. I'm just really worried about her at this point. She thinks by replacing real sugar with AS, she is doing a good thing...but she eats the sugar free stuff until she is sick...you know, the bathroom issues with sugar alcohols And she drinks tons of diet soda. I'm afraid that much of it could be seriously bad for her.
Good News
Today is one week since I started this WOL/WOE. Although I've had some problems getting started and sticking with plan I am down 5.6 lbs to 278.8  I'm sure alot of it is water since I wasn't LCing before I started, but I'm happy with the starting weight loss!
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Heather L
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Shan- The best thing you can do for your sister is lead by example. As you are having success, she may start to follow your lead. Sometimes people just are not ready to hear the truth. Congrats on a great first week!!
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Shan
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Todays Eats:
3 cups of coffee w/heavy cream
Couple bites of ham (didn't like this particular ham)
Peppered Baked Cod...no breading
Baked Pollock...no breading
a little bit of shrimp cocktail sauce (probably w/sugar...off plan)
homemade tartar sauce...mayo and dill relish
Water/Sparkling Water
I found some good deals on meat when shopping this evening. I bought:
Fatty Brisket at Walmart for $1.86/lb
Bony Beef Ribs at Albertsons for $.99/lb
Beef Back, also Fatty at Albertsons for $1.49/lb
Yeah for cheap fat meat
I'm planning to go to the gym tomorrow for the first time in at least a year and a half  I want to get in some walking on the treadmill and play around a little with the free weights. It is just a little gym at work, so there isn't a lot of equipment or machines. It does have treadmills, an elliptical, a couple bikes, and a bunch of free weights in it. I'm not sure exactly what IS in there anymore since I haven't been in a while. We'll see what I find.
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Shan
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Add to yesterday's menu about 3 oz cheese...I got snacky last night!
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KATHYINTX
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Hey, Shan!
I agree with Heather L (she read my mind )... Lead by example. If your sister sees you happy, healthy and losing weight... it will become contagious!! She probably knows what she's doing to herself... but maybe she will come around in due time.
I am so proud of you -- considering you've only been at this for one week, you've made great strides!  WTG! This is a journey... listen to what your body tells you and take baby steps one at a time.
I've lost about 5 lbs this week after finally jumping back on the LC Bus! Hope you had a productive time at the gym today.. how did that work for ya? I'm stuck home today... DD/Kelsey/14 has the flu with 103 degrees fever.. thank goodness for Advil!!
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Shan
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Hi Kathy
I didn't make it to the gym today, maybe tomorrow.
I've been in TOM, but cramps didn't hit until today and they hit bad. Also, general tiredness and not feeling well. Finally, don't know whether it is because of TOM or not, but I'm craving sweets like crazy
By some miracle I've managed to avoid any sugar or AS today anyway.
Today's Eats:
4 Scrambled eggs w/cream cheese and green chilis.
Leftover hamburger meat fried w/onions and green chilis
Monterey Jack and Cheddar Cheese
2 cups of coffee w/heavy cream
Water w/splash of lemon juice
Sparkling Water.
I just feel so wiped out today...exhausted. Maybe TOM, maybe adjusting to this WOE, maybe I'm getting a bug....I don't know.
More tomorrow. And here is hoping I'm feeling better so I can go into work for a couple hours and go to the gym at work. I left early on Friday w/a really bad headache, so I have 2 hours of work to make up this weekend.
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Karen G
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Hey Shan, I can relate to the TOM troubles. It sucks 
Hope you feel better soon.
Karen
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y0u
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It took me a good 2-3 weeks to feel really good on ZC/VLC and not eat any frankenfoods.. I was really tired all the time, and oddly my cycle has greatly improved and I have almost no cramps and regular to light flows.
Hang in there and you can beat the A/S monster and cravings..you just gotta get through it..and it WILL be worth it..I PROMISE!!
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Shan
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I never did make it to the gym....I was just exhausted all weekend.
Yesterday I had the munchies like crazy and I ate a lot of veggies. Meat just isn't very helpful with the munchies
Yesterday's eats:
cup of coffee w/heavy cream
roast beef
celery w/cream cheese
celery w/all nautral peanut butter
steak w/cracklins
green chili's w/monterey jack cheese
Pork green chili w/cheddar cheese
LC coconut choc bar (way off plan)
I don't even know what the deal was yesterday, I just really had the munchies. But meat didn't even sound good to eat. I'm still really tired today. If I don't lay off the veggies, my body may never adjust to just having fat and meat for energy
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jeff
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| Quote: | | I don't even know what the deal was yesterday, I just really had the munchies. But meat didn't even sound good to eat. |
If meat does not sound good, then you are not really hungry. It's just cravings. You have to learn to fight through it. It's not easy, but it must be done. If you keep feeding the cravings, they won't go away.
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y0u
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| Shan wrote: | | If I don't lay off the veggies, my body may never adjust to just having fat and meat for energy |
Sounds like you know what you need to do. It really does take awhile..go for a walk when you have cravings..drink herbal tea...pull your hair out...you will adjust, it's just not easy so don't expect it to be. You will be rewarded, I promise.
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Dean
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Shan,
Cravings are NOT normal. Some of the things you are eating are keeping your insulin levels up and therefore your cravings intact. The veggies are really not the biggest problem, either.
If you would go on a high fat, meat and water fast for a few weeks, you would lose ALL these cravings.
Hang in there and never give up.
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Manaloa
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I have issues during TOM too with my cravings.  Just keep trying.
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Shan
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I'm doing pretty ok here.
I'm drinking half-n-half w/my coffee this am because I forgot to bring the heavy cream to work with me.
I'm not very hungry today...maybe I'm getting to that low-hunger point I've read about on ZC.
Work is crazy right now...I want a cigarette so bad. I quit back in Dec, and haven't really been craving much lately. But the last couple days with work stress!!!!
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