The Magic Bus Trip

Heather L · Posted: Thu Mar 19, 2009 6:48 pm Post subject:

I hear this a lot from the women around me . The smaller breasted ones want more, and the "well-endowed" want smaller breasts. Thankfully, I have no troubles with my D cup...no back or bra issues. Maybe it would be uncomfortable to run long distances, but that isn't going to happen anyway. LOL

I used to think it would be great to have larger ones, but have changed my mind after hearing the many horror stories of friends.

Karen G · Posted: Tue Mar 24, 2009 10:02 pm Post subject:

I've been trying to figure out what to do about what I eat, and I'm stumped.

I've been in a weird place with food lately. It's hard to explain. I just don't know what to eat. That sounds so stupid, but that's what it feels like. And when I don't know what to eat, I eat junk. So tomorrow I am off the junk again. But I'm trying to figure out what to eat, and I just don't know where to start. Since I've started LC I've been on some sort of plan, mostly counting carbs, sometimes regulating ratios, sometimes both. I just want to be able to eat well without having to track everything and follow some predetermined plan.

I've never been able to do that...

Oh well. I guess I better come up with some idea of what I'm going to do so I can go to the store.
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Freedom's just another word for nothin' left to loose - Recorded by Janis Joplin

Dean · Posted: Wed Mar 25, 2009 9:00 pm Post subject:

Karen,

I've never counted anything or followed any plan in my life.

What I always do is have a list (in my head or otherwise) of the foods I will allow myself to eat, and I will eat within those parameters. Of course, I've always used a paleo perspective in my desired WOE and believed in sticking to natural unprocessed foods as much as possible, so, even if it was any fresh vegetables and fruits along with the high fat meats and eggs, I would easily lose on a consistent basis and feel good in my health. The one caveat in all of it has always been dairy, coffee, wine. I've had to figure out the incorporation of those things, but, it usually works out fine.

Eliminating condiments entirely has really worked out well for me, keeping questionable things out of my diet. I may need to bring some things like carrots into my diet, to see if that reduces carb cravings. I don't believe that strict ZC eating has any virtue other than simplicity. To say it is superior to all other WOE is ridiculous, IMO. Of course, I've never subscribed to the cult of personality that many seem to lean toward. Roll Eyes

HTH a little. Keep your chin up and it will all come into shape over time (never overnight). There's no magic pill or instant Kool-Aid. That's just a marketing gimmick. Wink

_________________
When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace.
- Jimi Hendrix

Every day you'll see the dust
Never get off the Bus!

Karen G · Posted: Thu Mar 26, 2009 8:45 pm Post subject:

Simplicity is what I think I am struggling with. When I get too simple with my food, I crave bad stuff. I think I need variety.

I think that my philosophy resembles Dean's that when I think of eating "healthy" I think of eating natural foods. I used to be of the low fat, highly processed school of thought, and I'm glad I've gotten past that. I've had a difficult time with the strict 0 carb, and even with VLC, because I don't see anything wrong with vegetables and even fruit as long as it doesn't make me feel like crap.

So in my quest to find my own WOE, I've decided to try some variations. I do find that I feel best with some sort of low carb WOE. So I am going to try something similar to South Beach for a while. Higher in veggies and lower in fat than atkins, but maybe the variety will be easier for me and feel less like a diet. I hope that eventually I can come up with something that works for me and that I don't have to struggle with so much.

I do have to say that if there was magic koolaid out there that would melt off 75 lbs and cure my food addiction, I'd be lining up with a bucket in hand. All I want is to feel good, like how I look, and stop thinking about food all the time.
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Freedom's just another word for nothin' left to loose - Recorded by Janis Joplin

Dean · Posted: Thu Mar 26, 2009 11:08 pm Post subject:

Sounds like great goals, Karen.

Obsessing over food (or anything) is extremely unhealthy. If you find yourself doing that, figure out a way to get over that. It's easy to fall into that crap. Finding balance in one's life is far better than finding the perfect diet. There is no perfect diet, anyway. I'm sure you know ways to feel good about yourself, and outward appearance is not all there is. The inner self is what really matters most. You are very smart and have a good outlook on life, so, I'm sure you will get there no problem. The black box is full of light, right? Wink

_________________
When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace.
- Jimi Hendrix

Every day you'll see the dust
Never get off the Bus!

Karen G · Posted: Fri Mar 27, 2009 9:33 pm Post subject:

Karen G · Posted: Mon Apr 13, 2009 4:46 pm Post subject:

Today I am getting back on the bus. For the last couple of weeks, I've been telling myself that tomorrow will be the day. Tomorrow finally arrived.

I feel like crap. Like all the crap I've been eating. I feel like a giant f-ing piece of cake dripping with melted ice cream. Heavy, sloppy, and lifeless.

Four days ago, I was the same weight I was in the beginning of February. Not only does that suck, but it carries a really high level of suckitude. It's sucktastic. But I only have myself to blame. I'm struggling with kicking myself over this; I know that isn't productive. I'm trying to see the last few weeks as something to remember when I want to "take a break" from exercising and eat junk food in the future. But I'm not quite there yet. I'm still saying "You idiot, why did you do that to yourself?" I think after a couple days I'll start to feel better and see things for what they are and stop making such a big deal out of it. For now, the idiot thing is motivating me to get going again.

So today I am re-committing to my goals, and to myself. I have to keep reminding myself that this is going to take much more effort and time that I want it to, and stop letting the slow progress get to me. If I had only lost one pound a week, I'd be 8 pounds ahead of where I am now, and probably a size smaller. So no more being disappointed with slow progress. It's better than no progress, right?

It sounds weird, but I just want to get to where I don't worry about what I look like. In my early 20s, I would go to the grocery store in my pjs if I didn't feel like changing, because I was secure enough to not give a shit what other people thought of me. That's my goal. To get to the point where I can go to the store in my pj's again. It's as much emotional as it is physical. I don't know how long or how much work it will take, but it will be worth it when I get there...
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Freedom's just another word for nothin' left to loose - Recorded by Janis Joplin

y0u · Posted: Mon Apr 13, 2009 6:18 pm Post subject:

Welcome to my world..of self loathing and dispair...I gained a bunch of weight since getting off the Metformin..yeah me...NOT! It's not from eating off plan though...or from lack of exercise. I refuse to believe that because I ate a few (very few) veggies I gained 9 pounds in 2 weeks.

Hope you find peace..and a plan that works for you. I am going back to really basic ZC for a bit....no cheese..etc...just cream in minimal 1/2 decaf coffee.

I like your idea of not worrying what you look like..sigh..maybe some day...Hope we both can do this.. Big Hug

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Flap-a-doodle-kick-a-poodle-kitty-kitty-cow-cow ~ Fat Freddy's Cat

Heather L · Posted: Mon Apr 13, 2009 7:19 pm Post subject:

Karen- I agree with you. Slow progress is progress, and shouldn't make us feel bad. I go through that... I am never a fast loser. Hang in there and go easy on yourself.

Heather · Posted: Tue Apr 14, 2009 5:02 am Post subject:

Keep hanging on, it is always a journey, never a destination. Comfort

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Heather

Dean · Posted: Tue Apr 14, 2009 6:05 am Post subject:

Yes, those are wise words. It's a journey. Don't trip on the destination, cuz god only knows where that is. Cool

_________________
When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace.
- Jimi Hendrix

Every day you'll see the dust
Never get off the Bus!

jeff · Posted: Tue Apr 14, 2009 8:57 pm Post subject:

Karen G · Posted: Sun May 10, 2009 3:24 am Post subject:

Arrrggghhh!!

I can't believe it really took me three weeks after my last post to make it through two days. But I finally did it! I feel like I'm getting back on track now.

Thanks everyone for the support... I've been a mess lately, and it's so nice to read all the friendly comments.

Hope everyone has a great weekend.
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Freedom's just another word for nothin' left to loose - Recorded by Janis Joplin

Heather · Posted: Sun May 10, 2009 6:28 pm Post subject:

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Heather

Karen G · Posted: Wed Jul 08, 2009 8:23 pm Post subject:

Hey everyone! I'm finally going to stop lurking...

After about two weeks of staying on track, I've lost about 1/3 of what I gained in the few months where I was struggling. It's amazing how fast the weight comes back. I'm happy that I didn't regain everything I lost previously, but I did put on more than half. I'm trying really hard to stay in a good place, with realistic goals. No more race to lose the weight. I was emotionally setting myself up for failure by being unsatisfied with the speed of my progress. My new goal is to get to my goal size by July 2010. That would be 7-8 dress sizes smaller than I am now. And then I will be smokin' hot! JK - but it does help to mentally picture myself smaller when I am tempted to eat crap.

I'm not being quite so strict as before with my food, but keeping my carbs around 20-30 per day. Some days much less. I kind of eat what I am hungry for, and I hope that the natural variety keeps me from getting into a rut and running to my beloved cake and ice cream.

This past weight gain started something new for me, extreme heel pain in one foot. I've always had sore feet after walking a lot while heavy, but not like this. I did some reading on the internet, and I hope it will get better with weight loss. In the mean time, it's really affecting my ability to walk for exercise. I've been doing yoga instead, which I enjoy more anyways. The only problem there is that it leaves a very expensive treadmill to collect dust. Oh well, can't win 'em all. I'll eventually be able to get back on that treadmill someday.

Work has been a beast lately, so I might not be posting a ton, but I am going to make an effort to be less sporadic and more accountable - and to remind myself I am in this for the long haul.
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Freedom's just another word for nothin' left to loose - Recorded by Janis Joplin

y0u · Posted: Wed Jul 08, 2009 9:54 pm Post subject:

Welcome back Karen..I missed ya!!

I am eating 20something carbs a day too..and losing just fine..ya gotta do what you can live with.
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Flap-a-doodle-kick-a-poodle-kitty-kitty-cow-cow ~ Fat Freddy's Cat

jeff · Posted: Wed Jul 08, 2009 11:01 pm Post subject:

Hey, there's my fellow Cheesehead!!! Welcome back, Karen.
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Eat, Drink and Be Merry, For Tomorrow We'll Die

kateryna · Posted: Wed Jul 08, 2009 11:42 pm Post subject:

Welcome back Karen Cheer

Seems to me you've set realistic goals and taking it one day at a time is what some of us are doing with much success I might add.
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Carnivore (Jun 12/09) 227/196.2/137 Max. wt: 247 (Jul-08)
"I don't want to live a little, I want to live a LOT, and I want to live WELL! Kateryna

Karen G · Posted: Sat Jul 11, 2009 10:52 pm Post subject:

Thanks everyone! It's good to be back.
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Freedom's just another word for nothin' left to loose - Recorded by Janis Joplin

Karen G · Posted: Mon Jul 20, 2009 10:54 pm Post subject:

Had a great night out with co-workers on Friday. I ended up drinking more beer than I planned (we were passing das boot, and I couldn't get it to stop spashing me). Other than that, I stuck to my vodka. It was a blast, really nice to get out and spend some time with friends.

So today it's back to the grind.

Besides the weekend, I've been doing pretty good with my food. I'm trying to cut back on cheese this week. I have a bunch of family get togethers coming up, that should be interesting as far as food goes...
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Freedom's just another word for nothin' left to loose - Recorded by Janis Joplin

jeff · Posted: Tue Jul 21, 2009 12:12 am Post subject:

Hey Karen, I had a run-in with a boot once at the Essen House in Madison. Toast

Ever been there?
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Eat, Drink and Be Merry, For Tomorrow We'll Die

Karen G · Posted: Tue Jul 21, 2009 7:11 pm Post subject:

I've never been there, but sometime I'll have to check it out. I've gotta say that the boot thing is a riot with a good group of people...
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Freedom's just another word for nothin' left to loose - Recorded by Janis Joplin

jeff · Posted: Wed Jul 22, 2009 11:51 am Post subject:

Karen G · Posted: Mon Aug 24, 2009 12:16 pm Post subject:

Two weeks ago I hurt my knee on vacation. I spent a few days in a wheelchair, and have had several doctor appointments, an MRI, and an initial appointment with an orthopedic surgeon. I've been advised to start physical therapy to determine if I need to have my ACL reconstructed or if I can go without it by one doctor, and advised to have the surgery by another. Their reasoning is this: the doctor who thinks I should avoid surgery says I may not need it because I don't play sports, the doctor who thinks I should have surgery says I am too young to limit myself that much.

I'm leaning towards getting the surgery because even though I am not especially active now, I don't want to limit myself to being this inactive forever. And without this ligament, I'll always have an increased chance of my knee giving out on me again, and the prospect of sitting on the floor completely helpless again like the woman in the "I've fallen and I can't get up" commercial scares the shit out of me. I am also still experiencing pain and a lot of swelling in my leg after walking on it for even a short time. I don't know if that will go away with time or not.

I've been told that the surgery is outpatient, but the recovery can be long and difficult. Anyone have any experience with an injury like this or the surgery and recovery required to reconstruct the ligament? I want to get as much information as I can before making this decision. Confused

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Freedom's just another word for nothin' left to loose - Recorded by Janis Joplin

jeff · Posted: Mon Aug 24, 2009 3:52 pm Post subject:

Wow, sorry about your knee. Good luck!
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Eat, Drink and Be Merry, For Tomorrow We'll Die

Budzinski · Posted: Tue Aug 25, 2009 8:47 am Post subject:

I've had ACL-reconstruction twice in left knee and once, just before x-mas, in right knee. Adherence to rehabilitation is key. And patience. It may take a year until you'll be able to play tennis, sprint or whatever kind of strenuous exercise you like. Bicycling, swimming, easy running, hiking and such will be possible after 2-3 months.

My first time I forced my going back to playing soccer too much. And I ended up with a bad result. Loose ligaments. Second time I had more patience and a better result. Unfortunately, this third instance I've had too much work and too much on the home front (2 pre-schoolers) and so it is not going as well as it could.

My point is this. Make sure that you have the time and the stamina and the back-up from the home front to commit to doing all the exercises (and they are boring and repetitive, I tell you) and getting enough rest. And then you will be fine. A rehab periode does not, however, mix well with a stressing lifestyle.

Good luck.

y0u · Posted: Wed Aug 26, 2009 12:39 am Post subject:

Although I did not have any choice in the matter..well i did..either walk or don't walk again. I severed my achilles tendon last year and had it sewn back together along with the back of my heel cut off (bone spur). I was in a wheel chair/walker for 4-5 months..crawled up stairs (2 flights) for 2 months.

It was not fun . I couldn't put any weight on it at all for 8 weeks..and then very limited weight for about 4 months. It took an entire year to entirely heal properly but boy am I glad I let it heal well...I can now do so much more...including riding my bike over 100 miles a week and standing at work 8 hours a day on concrete.

I made sure I had a really good sports injury surgeon. and did everything the physical therapist said to do..check yours out first.

good luck..
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Flap-a-doodle-kick-a-poodle-kitty-kitty-cow-cow ~ Fat Freddy's Cat

MetalMama · Location: GA Joined: 21 Feb 2008 Posts: 564 Gender: Female

Ouch - don't have any experience in that area but hope you feel better soon!

Karen G · Posted: Wed Aug 26, 2009 1:52 pm Post subject:

Thank you, everyone, for your feedback and encouragement!

Budzinski - Thank you for the advice, it's encouraging to hear that you've gone through this 3 times, and that if I follow directions I can get back to life as it was before. I don't do a lot of strenuous exercise, but in talking with the physical therapist, he said that playing badminton or running after my kids in the park would not be an option without surgery, as walking/running on any uneven surface is the most likely thing to trigger my knee giving out and possbily creating further damage. That pretty much made up my mind right there.

Y0u - OMG! That story is a testament to your inner strength. Y0u are inspiring.

The biggest impact this injury has had on me is that I realized how much I was taking my mobility for granted. This experience is already pushing me to get up off my butt and do all those things I've always wanted to do but keep putting off.

It's definitely a wake up call - I'm sure that this would not have happened if I wasn't so overweight. I won't go into the whole embarrassing story right now, but when the injury happened, I was just trying to take a big step up, and somehow turned my body without turning my foot. I wasn't playing football, soccer, tennis, basketball, or trying to break the olympic record for the long jump. I was just being a fat person standing on one leg. I have to change that.
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Freedom's just another word for nothin' left to loose - Recorded by Janis Joplin

y0u · Posted: Wed Aug 26, 2009 2:15 pm Post subject:

Sounds like your head is in the right place. And never take your mobility for granted..I know I will never do so again. Being in a wheelchair sucked!!

You will be just fine..and again..I stress..research your surgeon first.
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Flap-a-doodle-kick-a-poodle-kitty-kitty-cow-cow ~ Fat Freddy's Cat

Karen G · Posted: Mon Aug 31, 2009 8:42 pm Post subject:

Still working at physical therapy for my knee. Range of motion is improved, but that's about it so far. It started to go out again when I went to sit on a foot stool to clean out my kitchen cupboards this weekend, and since then is making a little click-click feeling every time I bend it. Tomorrow I find out if I can start riding a stationary bike to build strength, or if I fucked it up further. I am starting to hope I don't have to fight the surgeon to get the surgery. I can handle the rehab and taking it easy until it heals, but the thought of worrying about every movement for the rest of my life is less appealing each day.

Enough whining - I have good news, too! I've lost about 9 lbs in the last couple weeks being back on the bus Happy

So the water weight is probably pretty much gone, and I'm looking forward to getting a load of fat off this body over the next year. It's such a good feeling to make it through more that just a few days without falling into the carb-pit of despair and self loathing...

I feel a resolve I had earlier in the year that this is possible for me. I lost it for a while, but I'm getting it back. I find myself doing really hokey stuff like repeating in my head "you can do this" and "it's only food" when I get cravings. It helps.

I think I'm beginning to understand the level of my carb addiction and the hold I've let it have over me. It's silly, really, how I let myself get so twisted up and manipulated into this ridiculous cycle of eating to feel better and then feeling guilty for what I've eaten. The picture it creates in my mind is one of a dancer and instructor (for some odd reason, I don't know why). The dancer messes up, the instructor says "Again" and the cycle keeps repeating itself. All I have to do to break that cycle is get it right the first time. So that's become another of my hokey mantras: "No repeats."

Here's to a "no repeat" September!
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Freedom's just another word for nothin' left to loose - Recorded by Janis Joplin

kateryna · Posted: Tue Sep 01, 2009 12:22 pm Post subject:

Yayy to a new resolve and a great start and the loss of 9 pounds Line Cheer

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Carnivore (Jun 12/09) 227/196.2/137 Max. wt: 247 (Jul-08)
"I don't want to live a little, I want to live a LOT, and I want to live WELL! Kateryna

Heather L · Posted: Wed Sep 02, 2009 3:26 pm Post subject:

Karen- I know what it is like to fall and get back up... over and over. It can be tempting to self- loathe, but it only makes it worse. You will get better and stronger as you make your new habits into a solid lifestyle. If you refuse to give up, then I know you will succeed. Yup

Great job on losing over the last couple weeks. That is awesome.

Karen G · Posted: Thu Sep 03, 2009 4:44 pm Post subject:

Didn't win the lottery last night. Bummer.
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Freedom's just another word for nothin' left to loose - Recorded by Janis Joplin

kateryna · Posted: Fri Sep 04, 2009 1:15 am Post subject:

Karen G · Posted: Wed Sep 09, 2009 1:58 pm Post subject:

Trip and fall, and get back up, right? My daughter's birthday cake completely derailed me. After spending more than a few hours baking and decorating, I completely lost my head and binged on cake for 4 days. But I'm back on track today. It turned out ok, I should have stuck to looking...

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Freedom's just another word for nothin' left to loose - Recorded by Janis Joplin

MetalMama · Location: GA Joined: 21 Feb 2008 Posts: 564 Gender: Female

Stunning cake Karen - just beautiful.

As long as you keep getting back up - that's all that counts!

y0u · Posted: Wed Sep 09, 2009 5:57 pm Post subject:

If I made a cake like that...I would have had a few bites as well..gorgeous!

y0u are only human... Yup

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Flap-a-doodle-kick-a-poodle-kitty-kitty-cow-cow ~ Fat Freddy's Cat

jeff · Posted: Wed Sep 09, 2009 9:57 pm Post subject:

What an awesome looking cake!
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Eat, Drink and Be Merry, For Tomorrow We'll Die

Karen G · Posted: Thu Sep 10, 2009 8:48 pm Post subject:

Thanks MetalMama, Y0u, and Jeff! I love cake decorating, but I only do it twice a year for my kids' birthdays, so I tend to go a little overboard.

I'm hoping by the next birthday, next spring, it won't be so much of an issue for me to have it in the house.

I'm still hanging in there today, but the cravings are brutal. I'm gonna go stuff myself with meat until I can't possibly want to eat anything else. I can see the light at the end of this tunnel; usually as I get to 4-5 days in, the cravings get much easier.
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Freedom's just another word for nothin' left to loose - Recorded by Janis Joplin

Karen G · Posted: Fri Sep 11, 2009 3:56 pm Post subject:

Start the 4 days over, I ate ice cream last night. Oops

_________________
Freedom's just another word for nothin' left to loose - Recorded by Janis Joplin

y0u · Posted: Fri Sep 11, 2009 4:39 pm Post subject:

Good girl Karen...eat your meat.. Devil

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Flap-a-doodle-kick-a-poodle-kitty-kitty-cow-cow ~ Fat Freddy's Cat

Karen G · Posted: Sun Sep 13, 2009 2:13 pm Post subject:

Stressed out this weekend. House is a disaster, work is overwhelming, and I go to the doctor tomorrow to talk about surgery on my knee.

I'm taking food one day at a time, and not doing so hot. Instead of telling myself to start over, I am just going to continue. Maybe I won't psyche myself out so much...
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Freedom's just another word for nothin' left to loose - Recorded by Janis Joplin

y0u · Posted: Sun Sep 13, 2009 2:38 pm Post subject:

Sorry that life is stressful right now Karen, just do the best you can. Hope the knee consultation goes well....I will be thinking of you. Heart

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Flap-a-doodle-kick-a-poodle-kitty-kitty-cow-cow ~ Fat Freddy's Cat

surfergirl · Posted: Mon Sep 14, 2009 2:09 am Post subject:

Karen G · Posted: Mon Sep 14, 2009 6:51 am Post subject:

Thanks y0u and surfergirl. I'll let you know what happens...
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Freedom's just another word for nothin' left to loose - Recorded by Janis Joplin

MetalMama · Location: GA Joined: 21 Feb 2008 Posts: 564 Gender: Female

You've got it right Karen - just keep on going. Stress is a real diet killer! Hope you're feeling better all around soon!

kateryna · Posted: Tue Sep 15, 2009 12:17 am Post subject:

Karen G · Posted: Tue Sep 15, 2009 10:26 pm Post subject:

Blue October - Let It Go
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Freedom's just another word for nothin' left to loose - Recorded by Janis Joplin

Karen G · Posted: Tue Sep 15, 2009 10:41 pm Post subject:

Surgery scheduled for mid-October. I have to decide on the type of graft I want this week. I did not expect doc to leave that up to me. We went over the pros and cons of using a graft from my own patellar tendon or the same from a cadaver. I've got until Friday to let them know which one I'm going with.

Work, and home for that matter, have me completely stressed out. Not enough time or money in either situation. Screw it all, I'm going to cook some pork and sit on the couch and watch Biggest Loser.

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Freedom's just another word for nothin' left to loose - Recorded by Janis Joplin